Knowing that answer will make all the difference in its success
As I type this blog post up my husband is sitting downstairs watching an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Earlier in the evening he was kind enough to bring me home El Pollo Loco. This gave my oldest daughter a much needed break on cooking… or better put, it gave the rest of us a much needed break on her taco salad buffet. I mean, it’s a good dish, but we eat it every single Monday, and it gets older than an uncovered can of frijoles in the fridge.
Other Amazing Things My Husband Did Recently
He hung up some hooks on a bathroom mirror to hold my favorite holiday twinkle lights so when I do my business I can pretend I’m in the middle of a Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer claymation episode. (The part where the dentist goes to sleep in the hut? It’s so cozy. I want to live there and not come out. Ever. It’s like being drunk on a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. It’s escape at its highest form but no nasty hangover.)
He helped me take down holiday boxes from the garage. He did this while listening to ridiculous Christmas music and was more than patient as I sifted through boxes of old photos of Great Grandma Stella as well as her scrapbook. (OMG, I found out that there really was a football player named John Dominus. I had heard about him for years. She told me he was the love of her life before her husband. To be truthful, I wasn’t sure if he was actually a real person, but there he was in his football suited glory, right after the cigarette ad! And hubba hubba, I can’t blame her for holding a torch these past 80 years.)
Speaking of Grandma Stella, while I slept in one morning, my hubby made a ride out to his mom’s home and surprised me with Grandma Stella’s antique green tea cart, which his mom had taken when Grandma had to be moved to a dementia care unit. I had been drooling over it for about as long as she had been drooling over John Dominus. I was half delighted, half racked with sobs, to see it sitting in my driveway (complete with her little sticky notes to remind her of things that were important. “Andrea’s #805-xxx-xxxx” … “Bingo at 5.” … “Jimmy called on 10/20/19 and said he’d visit.”)
He went walking with me every day, including a beautiful hike in the canyons with some dear friends of ours, socially distanced.
He grocery shopped with me.
He chopped wood and lit a fire for us almost every night.
That’s why when he asked me just now if I wanted to go walking with him I said… “No.”
“No?” you might ask. That guy sounds like he’s done a LOT for you. Why the heck not?”
My answer to you is simple. “I do a lot, too. And I scheduled that particular time to work on my coaching business.”
“That sounds super bitchy,” you might say, and old Andrea would agree with that statement. That same Andrea had a writing hobby, and she built it around her life. But these days, the new Andrea is building a business and she’s building her life around that business.
Would I tell my boss I can’t turn in a spreadsheet because a cute guy asked me to power walk with him? (And my husband really is cute.)
No. So why would I sell New Andrea down the river either? I can’t.
Better to say “No” and stay grounded in my personal needs than say “Yes” and be resentful later.
You’re Not Just Building a Business — You’re Building Your Character
When I think I have to have everything perfect in order to move forward, I am destined to fail because, well, it’s not perfect. But these days, I can’t afford to do that. There’s a lot in marketing that I’m still learning:
The truth is, I’m learning as I go.
What Don’t You Know? Learn As You Go! (Hey, that rhymed!)
I’m learning around a full-time job and adjusting to my older daughter transitioning from male to female.
I’m learning around helping my mom sell my childhood home of 45 years and move into a much smaller living situation.
I’m learning it around navigating the emotions that rack both my kids that come with online learning and social limitations thanks to Covid.
And I’m learning it around my own old mindset that doesn’t hesitate to remind me, “Who the hell do you think you are?”
Old Mindset Vs. New Mindset
I don’t know about you, but the process of unlearning old habits is almost harder than learning new ones. It takes discipline and courage. It takes follow through. It takes willingness to check oneself and look at the the fear behind moving ahead. And for me, it takes something bigger than myself to push me ahead.
Every day can remember that I no longer need to tell God about my mountains but I can tell my mountains about my God.
The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow (And All That Shit. Yeah, It’s True.)
I’m keeping this short tonight because I’m exhausted. Tomorrow is a new day.
A day of working on my biz in the morning.
Of teaching during the day.
Of more work in the afternoon to touch base with a friend who is teaching me about slide decks.
And then, of course, the very important marketing meeting with my new Instagram consultant: my 16-year-old daughter. (She charges $5 every half hour and let me say she is worth every penny.)
I am remembering that every day as I learn one new thing, three more items are revealed that I’ve never heard of in my life. I mean, what the hell is a click funnel? I can either freak out about it, or I can be grateful for what I don’t know.
I can decide to not be a victim.
I can look at what is working, not at what isn’t.
I can remember that while I have written for pay for years, this doesn’t mean crap if people can’t find my coaching services online. In order to find my services, I need to treat Andrea Frazer Writes like a business, not a hobby.
And with that mindset, everything works out just fine.
(Now if only I can figure what the hell a click funnel is.)
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I’m a published TV, blog, magazine and book writer who also coaches moms and grandmoms to write books rooted in wisdom, spirituality and humor.
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