meditation, self improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized

Fear: It’s Not a Great Spiritual Advisor (Then Why Is It On the Payroll?)

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So you’ll be tired of me saying this (or you won’t… you’ll just leave and only people interested in this topic will stay) but I pray and meditate daily. Faith isn’t something I just kind of have in the background. Instead, God is my everything. I don’t build God around my life anymore. I build my life around God.

This is not to say I’m perfect or think I have it all figured out. I do not. As my friend Ava likes to remind me, “I just don’t like to feel pain. I’ll avoid it at all costs!”This means I must take my medicine. When I take these pills in the form of a few simple steps to get out of self (hence prayer and meditation) I have a little space in between to respond rather than react. It means:

  •  I don’t have to flip off the sixteen year old driving single in the carpool lane when I’m running late to work and can’t, thanks to my damn conscious, do the same thing.
  • I don’t have to scream at 200 middle schoolers who just WON’T. STOP.TALKING simply because I was having a bad day and didn’t feel like dealing with their incessant “Can I use the bathrooms?” and “I can’t find my composition books” and “Why did I get a ‘D’ in this class… I mean… I don’t do anything, but I thought you liked me, Ms. Frizzle?!!!”
  • I can calmly listen to my husband growl at me when I’ve cut him off in conversation (when I swear to God I thought he was done with that topic 10 blocks ago) and just say, “Okay, I’m sorry.”

Prayer and meditation keep me from living in the What If’s. It allows me to live in faith, not fear. To quote my sponsor, “Fear is not a great spiritual advisor.” Fear keeps us looking to the worst case scenario. Faith keeps us in the moment. And in the moment, if we stay centered and breathe, it’s nearly impossible to not see God. I saw him today in:

  • That reckless teenage driver. “Dear God, keep him safe. That will be my boy in a few months.”
  • Those obnoxious annoying blessed middle schoolers. “Dear God, how wonderful that they have so much energy. May I learn to channel it and not squash their joy.”
  • My husband. He is dealing with a terrible personal loss. Maybe I wasn’t listening as closely as I could have been. How can I be of service and not make this about me?

I am not a saint. But I’m also not a victim. And this means I get to fire bad counselors. That means “See ya later, Fear! Your services are no longer needed.”

And guess what? If you relate to this statement, I give you permission to fire your advisor also. Let’s freelance life together!

Happily Ticked Off Tip #30: Fear is a terrible spiritual advisor. Hire yourself some faith today!

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

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faith, meditation, spirituality, Uncategorized

I Meditated. I Didn’t Kill Anyone or Myself.

I was much calmer today thanks to meditation. Because of my time spent in quiet stillness, first thing in the morning, my whole day passed without me being either suicidal or homicidal. #yayformeandmyfamily

All sarcasm aside, I’ve never wanted to kill anyone or myself, but when I’m wound really tight, I’m killing the joy in life. Starting my day with some still breathing, readings and prayer, helped me move from one task to the next with way more ease than yesterday.

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God Calling is the devotional I read. I love it because it’s just one scripture verse per page per day. Sometimes there is an old hymn verse thrown in for good measure.

I also read this every day.

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It talks about acceptance. For this control freak, acceptance is everything. If I think I am running the show, I am basically saying that I know better than God. I do not know better than God. We are all God’s kids. Reading this reminds me to keep my trap shut and trust that if someone wants my opinion they will ask. (That concept, my friends, has been the absolute hardest thing for me to change. Lucky for this lady, when I pray and meditate each day, God does it for me.)

“Meditation Is Not For Me!”

One of my readers, The Bookworm, commented, “I’m sure meditating is good for the soul. I’ve never been able to do it myself, I feel like I have too much nervous energy but for me, it’s running. That’s my form of meditation.”

I say whatever you need to do to not be a lunatic you do that!

As I have mentioned before, I have no real structure or expectations to my meditation routine. I don’t sit up. I drink coffee. And the closest I’ve ever been to Nirvana is to be interrupted by an LAUSD automated system telling me my sub job for the day has been canceled and I can crawl back in the covers with the crazy pitbull mix and sleep in.

I will add that while intention in life means nothing without action to back it up, intention in meditation is different. For me, it simply means, “I don’t have all the answers. Here is some time to get still because God does. Period.”

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Happily Ticked Off Tip #23: Meditation doesn’t have to involve an ashram and a yogi. It can be any time you set aside to allow someone other than you to break through your ego and run the show so you don’t have to. PS: Ego stands for “Edging God Out.” That’s good, huh?

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

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Uncategorized

The But Luckily Theory

Today didn’t go as I had hoped. We were supposed to go camping, but instead I ended up with a sore nose which could, or could not, have been a sinus infection. Exhaustion can easily lead to frustration for this mama, but luckily I have the “But Luckily Theory.”

BLT works like this:

I didn’t get to go camping, but luckily it’s not a sinus infection.

I spent my day at urgent care, but luckily my daughter went along for the ride which made it much more enjoyable. (She’s a veritable wealth of Musical Theater songs/memes and Ted Talks. I adore her.)

It was a dumb to spend $65 co-pay to find out I only needed a neti pot rinse out…

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But luckily Evie and I treated outselves to some Starbucks and had the pleasure of randomly stopping at a Japanese gluten free/tofu made/dairy free/vegan doughnut shop. (She’s my “Let’s go on an adventure in our hometown” kind of girl which, honestly, is so life affirming. She also makes me walk on curbs and jump across speed bumps. It’s not normal, but it makes life more joyful.)

Said doughnuts did not taste amazing…

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But luckily my son with the dietary restrictions wasn’t complaining.

I am about to play Minecraft with my family which I am dreading, but luckily I have teenagers that still want to hang out with me.

Today’s events felt smashed and rushed. I was a bit overwhelmed: running to doctor’s appointments while cramming food shopping and laundry in between, not to mention attempting not to control everyone else’s reactions to my requests. (I mean, why should my kids want to watch “One Day at a Time?” Though you guys totally should. It’s sooo good.)

And no, I can’t control if my husband will, or will not, join us in Minecraft or if Stink will get defensive over my request to not randomly throw entire loaves of goat cheese out just because they were left accidentally on a plate in the sink – covered in plastic no less.

And here’s the real truth: I was bone tired. Yup, even if I went camping, it’s not what I truly needed. I needed more of a vacation where I was relaxed.

But luckily, two days earlier, I had that with my birthday. After a long day of teaching art, I took a bath and plunked myself on the couch. Rex made pizza, my daughter made me a cake, both kids gave me a card, and Tuskany and her family came over, spoiling me with gifts. We had a fire and talked. I was duly spoiled.

I could get into victim mode about today’s turn of events, but luckily I’ve been practicing BLT enough to know that negative feelings will pass. A warm bath, followed by a warm bed, means that tomorrow I’ll be rested to start again.

Big shout out to one of my readers who prayed with me in front of the market tonight while I was avoiding being cranky with my family. (No, Irish Mama, Costco did not have what I needed. They were closed. But luckily I got what I needed at Trader Joes and nobody starved.)

This post is rather windy, but luckily, it’s over now.

Until tomorrow,

Happily Ticked Off Tip #11: Employing the “But Luckily Theory” does not make problems go away, but it helps you to focus on what is working in your life, making your problems more manageable.

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

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