Some of you may know that I wrote an animated musical about a camel.
And then I outlined the whole thing as a screenplay (which trust me – was no small feat.)
Now I’m half way through the script. I thought, in my little brain that likes comfort and routine, that I would spend the rest of the year finishing it. I even signed up for a new mentor through a writing group I’m part of to help me tease out the main character, Rose, just a bit more.
But then she gave us this prompt last week: “He said.”
WHAT???? What did that have to do with my screenplay? Nothing. Which is perfect, because I crafted something I didn’t even know my soul was begging me to write and now I’m putting my rewrite on hold for the next 10 weeks because I’ll be going back to my college days and writing a play.
I’m laughing because soooo much of my life has been like this. I think “I’m going to have a baby and it’s all going to be wonderful and easy.” Add in Tourettes. Add in transitioning. Add in some other unexpected young adult complications. And yet, when I get the focus off my kid and onto me, I find lots of gifts lurking in the darkness just waiting to be discovered – lanterns of love that are shining on my God given talents. My gifts have nothing to do with logic and fear – the things that my brain and ego concoct to keep me safe. Like my little Valentine’s decoration, they have everything to with what has been placed in my heart.
Love is the answer – always – whether it be how we speak to our children, our spouse, the world or ourselves.
It’s only in letting go that the peace rushes in.
It’s only in allowing our story to be something different than we ever thought it could be that we find magic, pain – yes – but also healing and laughter and transformation beyond our wildest dreams.
I don’t know what’s gonna become of my play, but I trust my mentor who happens to really like it.
And more than that – I trust myself these days. I trust my instinct. I didn’t navigate T.S. and transition and all sorts of other challenges to white knuckle it with a, “Phew! Almost didn’t make it!” once I landed on the other side.
I went through challenges to become better. Stronger. Richer.
And you can, too.
Until next Tuesday, hug that ticker of yours
When you can’t fix the tics, fix yourself. (Don’t waste the lessons Tourettes is showing you!)
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