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Get Yourself a Parlor

Everyone needs rest in their lives. That is my motto this week. When I don’t get it, I’m a sad bag of weary bones.

Do you have a place in your home that is just for you? If not, would you consider creating some space – any space – even if it’s just the car?

My space is my livingroom. I have a lot of very old furniture in there – some from pre-marriage days and some from my lovely sister-in-law. One piece is from an ex-drug addict boss that I scored for a paycheck’s worth of woes.

My latest addition? My neighbor’s couch. Found on the street. In the video below, I try to tell you that tale when I’m sadly interrupted by feral children. Such is life, including my very bad hair. Why do I only post videos of me after working out when I’m less than stellar. Must be because I am a lazy turd very confident in who I am as a woman.[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jlJQvF2guU&list=UU7pCFMeJ6X2orNoFbxjJeDg&index=1&feature=plcp

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Placebo, Part 2

I know my last post was incredibly long and fact filled, but I thought I’d ramble a bit more anyway about our final UCLA experience. They called it the “un-blinding” of Stink, so on that note, let the Gospel music roll in. Can you hear that organ?

“Amazing drugs, how unsweet the sound

That didn’t save a wretch like me

Enter chirps and mouth blows… healing we did not find

We were blind… and now we see… Placebo!”

Yes, for 6 weeks, I have been driving back and forth to UCLA for a fake pill. The good doctor sat with me in his office and told me, in all seriousness, that there is no way that this pill could have caused Stink to have the upswing in tics that he had. It could have been anything from the waxing and waning of tics to state testing to his loss of teeth to a possible strep infection that went untreated.

Now despite my sometimes hysterical sounding writing, I can promise you that in serious situations I can totally fake my way into seeming together. I don’t argue. I don’t get emotional. I don’t shake my fists like a furry arm pit haired hippy and blame air freshener and L.A. smog for the cause of my kid’s neck jerks. (Though truthfully, sometimes air freshener and other scents can indeed trigger tics. My point? I don’t say this at office visits at top research universities. I wear deoderant and sometimes even brush my hair.)

I didn’t push my agenda and issue with the placebo. Dr. McCracken isn’t a world renown T.S. expert for advocating alternative treatment for children. He treats from the medical/pharmaceutical end. I get it. And he has done amazing work for a lot of people. I might continue to work with him for the next 8 weeks and give the actual drug – Intuniv – a go for Stink. I wouldn’t be doing it for tics. (Though Dr. McCracken has said on at least six occasions that this drug has been known to reduce tics by 50%. Yeah!) I’d be giving this medication a go to improve Stink’s focus and impulsivity. If my smart boy can pass all his classes while dreaming of Mario and playing virtual handball during fractions, imagine what he is capable of if he could just zone in on what was being spoken about? It could be the difference between Harvard and Clown College.

Like many delicate arguments in marriage, this is one of those situations that I’m simply not going to be right about. Dr. McCracken will go on believing that the placebo could never cause an upswing in tics. I will go on knowing that the moment I took my kid off those damn pills his tics reduced by 80%. State testing being over? No longer some unknown virus in his system? Some cosmic coincidence that the moment he goes off the pills his tics reduce? I think not.

The overall message of this post: Don’t throw out amazing professionals just because they have a different opinion than you do. They might be your best allies in the future. But don’t think that you, as a parent, are wrong just because the medical community feels differently. I say this not from a place of denial – my son could obviously use some help with focus. I make the previous statement from experience and hopefully wisdom: the medical community does not know everything. They might work with the brain, but they don’t work with the soul. And somewhere, in between, we have balance.

I’ll keep you posted. You do the same for me!

PS: This in from Adelia’s last comment. I thought it worth posting here. “Before conducting human trials for drugs, pharmaceutical companies are often fully aware of many of the side effects of the products they’re testing. So, for instance, if a drug is known to cause dizziness and nausea, the drug company running the test may want the placebo to have the same side effects. And they have an explanation for this. They say the placebo should mimic the drug being tested so that the control group of the experiment will have side effects similar to the placebo group. Without that, they claim, the results of a blind study would be compromised.” (HealthierTalk.com)

* Photo from a few weeks back. Summer time is here!

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And the Contest Winner Is…

…Christa! You know, I forgot I even ran a contest. I have been just overwhelmed in laundry and housework and writing and Ebay and school stuff and, yes, tics.

But the tics are much improved! Woooot! It’s as if my body is no longer in “survival” mode and I’m starting to feel the relief that comes after the storm. Will fill you in on specifics later.

For me, this means the house looks like a hurricane hit and I sleep in on Saturdays until 12PM.

No joke.

First priority! Coffee for me.

Second priority! Feed children.

Third priority: Clean 4 hours straight with some blasting music.

Life is good.

Congrats to Christa who won a UCLA momento! Will write you in private and will get your mailing address.

Love you all!

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Summer is Coming

What are you all doing? Us? We’re hitting the YMCA a lot. I swear, that place has been our savior.

In July we’re going to the beach for a week.

We are going to try to do some cabin runs.

In between all that we are raising the bar around here with house chores for the kids, getting Ebay up and running, limiting electronics and doing a lot of reading.

I wish I could say something witty or funny tonight, but the truth is, I’m spent. Not down, but tired.

Give me some of your favorite tips for getting through summer with a good attitude and I’ll get back at you soon!

Andrea

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Memorial Weekend, Ebay, Blessings Schmessings

Hope you had a nice Memorial Day weekend. For those of you with family who serve our country, a big thanks from myself and my family.

I have to say, as the four of relaxed this weekend at the cabin, I did not once take it for granted that my little “tic” problem is nothing compared to what so many people go through in life – war and famine not withstanding.

Look at what is going on right now in Syria. My son has not been gunned down. My family has not been torn apart. I have the luxury of complaining on a computer while my children sleep peacefully in their beds. Sure, their room resembles a junk yard. But hey, they have stuff to throw around.

Lest I sound like I’m not allowed to be frustrated or sad, let me reiterate that our problems – and our childrens’ problems – are nothing to sneeze at. Life can be hard. It can seem unfair.

On the other hand, however, I am really trying to keep in check how fortunate I am to call a few tics “problems” when 90% of the world would trade places with me in a heartbeat. Well, they might not want my kitchen sink, but I have running water. And I guarantee so do you.

I hope if things get rough you know that I’m here for you. But that you also count your blessings.

That’s my goopy encouragement for this evening.

Until then, on a different front, I’m happy to report that my 82 year old mother and I are going strong on our Ebay business. I thrift store shop and list stuff. She mails it off. Since we have joined forces, we have turned a profit of 400! By the time you take out our meager investments and Pay Pal fees, we’ve each made about 150. It’s not a lot, but it’s been a hell of a lot of fun. We meet at Costco for our $2.00 pizza slice and soda and pour over the books. (Translation: The books consist of an old plastic 3-ring binder that she clips her handwritten accounting papers in.) We’re learning what sells and what doesn’t. We hope to double each month.

Last week, after sitting in my closet for 2 years, a stuffed animal finally sold for $9.99. (I know. We’re rich.) Thanks to my mom’s prompt shipping abilities, we got instant happy feedback. “Love the beaver! A ++!!!” I couldn’t help myself. I wrote her immediately. “Mom, when was the last time someone complimented your beaver?”

Her immediate response back, “It’s been too long. I’ll take any praise I can get.”

Every cent we have ever made, despite how little, has been worth it for that conversation.

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Week 4 on UCLA Study

Saw Doc McCracken today. Tics still really bad. Focus unchanged.

The good doc asked if we could stick it out two more weeks. Then we could “un-blind” Stink.

Stink is not happy about it, but he’s going to go for it. After all, what is 2 more weeks so we can have clarification?

I am so tired at this point. The tics have been so relentless. But even more relentless is the love I have for this kid. He’s just the epitome of happy. I adore him.

I came home tonight to find my beautiful daughter and her handsome father cooking a fish dinner for us in the kitchen.  What I wanted to do was crawl on the couch and go to bed. Instead, I hung with Rex and let the kids watch a little TV. I remembered to say a little prayer, too. Life is far from perfect, but I have a great family. I love each and every one of them.

And I love you readers, also, for doing the best you can.  You are all wonderful parents and I am so proud of you. Raymond and Lisa, I will feature you soon!

Photo below of my beautiful daughter and Papa on her First Communion a few weekends back. This shot touches me so. They love each other so much. Love, more than fear, is so much more powerful than tics. Until later –

Andrea

 

 

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Keeping Our Kids Safe – A Balancing Act

Today I went hiking with my kids after school with Miss L. At one point we came to a metal pipe that was raised about three feet over the water.

“Stand next to me in case I fall,” Pid advised. “But don’t get too close!” she said, before starting the first foot of a four foot trek across the rusty tube.

For the first few steps she was fine. She struggled a bit, but she didn’t come close to falling. Each time she righted herself back to a strong, balanced position.

It was only when her little body was aligned with mine that she started to really waver. She flopped once to the right and then instinctively fell toward the left where my arm steadied her. Her hand hovered over mine for the rest of her short walk across.

This was such an analogy for life. How often do we stoically face life alone, but when someone warm and comforting is near, we allow ourselves the vulnerability to fall?

While there is nothing wrong with allowing others to bolster us, it makes me think of a parenting struggle I often have. Like that walk my daughter took, I want my kids to know I’m around for them. I want to be their safe landing. But I’m of the ilk that parenting means raising our kids to be independent. If I walk too close to them all the time, they won’t have the chance to learn from their falls. Or even more to the point, they won’t have the chance to right themselves before the plunge happens. They won’t have the opportunity to know what they are truly capable on their own.

A discussion about this very thing is happening in the comment section of a previous blog. Take a look and join the thread if you’d like.

In closing, I’ll leave you with a quote from Lisa. She is a woman in her thirties that has T.S.. She has gone on to be quite successful. I’ll post some pieces of a q and a I had with her tomorrow. Just some of her wisdom comes right here:

“It’s the kids who have everything handed to them and are sheltered from failures that have the hardest time as an adult…It’s about loving and supporting your kid and giving them confidence and the ability to be comfortable in their own skin. There is no such thing as perfection so why do we all work so hard trying to achieve something that doesn’t exist? In the words of my biochem professor….’Don’t go hunting zebras in Scott County (Iowa)….chances are it’s horses…'”

And with that, I’m going to saddle up for the night. Until tomorrow, I’m thinking and praying for you all. I’d love to hear your thoughts on any of these subjects, so feel free to comment!

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Summer Lovin’, Had Me a Blast

I don’t know about you, but we’re thinking about summer around these here parts. For me, summer means working on my book, Ebaying a bit, seeing family and friends at lazy summer bbqs, sprinklers, sleeping in and new growth.

With the insane running around my family sometimes does, despite our best efforts to stay in the moment, summer also means time to be still. It means enjoying each of our family members regardless of tics, age, disability or bad hair days. Life is best when it’s savored.

My kids, more than anyone, get that. On Sunday, as if to say, “Mom, we’ve had enough of the mad cap dashing around town,” they found a spot under our large oak tree and broke out a game of Uno. And there they stayed.

For two blessed hours.

My daughter could care less that my son was sputtering and clicking away. All she cared about was whipping his butt at cards.

He was a gracious loser, too.

Until tomorrow, enjoy those kids of yours, tics and all. Tics tend to vanish when they become adults, but these precious moments of childhood are so brief.

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Still Awful, Prognosis for Upswing

Saw Dr. McCracken on Friday. He admitted Stink’s tics were waaaaay up.

Four possible scenarios according to him:

1. He’s allergic to the pills (they think it’s likely a placebo since his blood pressure is not lower nor is he tired.)

2. He’s just experiencing waxing

3. He might have had strep throat 3 weeks ago and we didn’t catch it. His immune system could be shot to pieces. Today I will take him to urgent care and have his throat swabbed. It’s happeneed before where he presents no symptoms but has strep. It’s always fun to explain this to the nurse on call: “My son needs a throat culture… why, no, he does not have a sore throat… no, I am not an overbearing mother who has lost her marbles but yes, I will sit on you and make you beg for air if you DON’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW I’VE BEEN LIVING WITH INSANE TICS FOR 2 WEEKS JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

4. He’s hyped up from State Testing

I’m going with #1.

There is always the fifth scenario

5. He is allergic to everything I am giving him, including the smell of my armpits, the un-organic apples I am buying because it’s not in the budget right now to spend $199/week at Whole Foods, the bird that visits us every day is crapping on his head causing neck rolls and eye twitches via bird turd absorption, he is allergic to my bad jokes and awful hair that hasn’t been dyed in 7 weeks or he’s just in that pre-spike Tween upswing of tics and I’m going to have to live with vocal tics blasting out 40 times a minute (no joke) until he sprouts pubes and goes to college.

Oh, it’s all so exciting! Thank you to my mom who took Stink overnight last night. And thank you to Vickie who took my daughter overnight. And thank you to Topanga T and Big B who showed up at my home with their two bulldogs. They brought expensive IPA, grilled shrimp wrapped in bacon, shortbread cookies and chicken salad. While I took a half hour breahter at a thrift store after dropping off the kids, T cleaned up my house. My husband bought me Starbucks. I love everyone. I really do. Even the tics!

* I bring this quick edit to thank Ellen and Martina for taking both Pip and Stink on Friday night so I could go to dinner with Rex. And thank you to Daria for playing backup. God bless my community of amazing women. I swear, more frustrating than tics would be a world without strong women who have my back. Please get yourselves a strong group of people in your lives – in any form (church, temple, school, whatevvvvaaah) to get you through the rough times and to sing with during the good ones. I could say I’m lucky – and I am – but I also work pretty hard to sustain this. I’m there for others and they are there for me. It’s the best gift in this life ever.