Tag: adhd

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I Found the Cure to What Ails Me!

Andrea Frazer

So, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m in love with another man. His name is Sam Heughan. He plays Jamie in the Starz series, Outlander. Have any of you been watching? Or, prior to the series, have any of you read the series by Diana Gabaldon?

In a nutshell, a world war 2 nurse, Claire Randall, gets reacquainted with her husband, Frank, in a boarding house in England. To pass the time while he works, she falls through some Stone Henge-esque stones and lands in 1748 Scotland during the clash between the Scots and the English. A clan takes her in for her own protection. Soon they realize she has lots of medicinal powers. Is she a witch? An English spy? They don’t know.

But, to keep her safe – and since the lass is useful – they marry her off to a hot highlander to keep her out of the arms of a nasty lieutenant who finds rape, flogging and smacking the crap out men, women and children to be all in a day’s fun. The highlander she is betrothed to is none other than an outlaw – Jamie Fraser – who is six foot four, sassy and manly as the day is long.

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The problem for her is that while she must accept the reality she is in now, she misses her old one also. And yet, after consummating her marriage to Jamie, she finds that despite less than perfect circumstances, she just might be able to adjust to her new life.

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Clearly there is only one answer to my tic conundrum this month: To get over my grief of what was a nice, quiet run sans tics, I must simply be engage in sex with a man who makes love with “unflagging joy” and speaks to me in an accent that can make “we need toilet paper” sound like “Your body is a temple of Yuban goodness.” Yes, that would make it all better, do you not agree?

Outlander 2014

Until tomorrow, may God grant you the serenity to accept the tics you cannot change, change the tics you can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

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I Could Be Ticked Off, But I’m Too Bleepin’ Excited

Andrea Frazer

kids start school

Greetings from Happily Ticked Off. Remember me? That once faithful blogger who helped you navigate through the highs and lows of tics? The person who gave you all sorts of encouragement when you felt worse than a nit in your kid’s hair after a session with the lice lady?

Side note: Do any of you non-L.A./New York readers have this service? A real, live nit-picker who will comb baby lice out of your kid’s hair one painstaking strand at a time? Yes, even with much of our world in dire poverty, I say without apologies that I blew $400 bucks a few years back to deal with what I can only refer to as the Lice Infestation of 2010. It’s chronicled in this article, “Of Lice and Men.”

SUMMER

Did you all have a good summer? I, personally, did not. Mine consisted of this:

* Commute 1 and a half hours each way for a writing gig that kept promising insurance but didn’t give it

* Schedule kids for play dates and camp dates around my husband’s work schedule – that schedule being his very own I.T. company start up which, of course, does not pay insurance, but we have a dream, people! Dental, schemntal, insurance. Who needs teeth! I’ll start on my smoothie regime, lose weight, save money on the gym, and buy health insurance!

* Ebay on the side to make $29/month to put toward elusive insurance, only to inevitably spend it by the end of the month because I can’t take cooking, cleaning and kid wrangling ONE.MORE.SECOND. so I give my hard earned income to El Pollo Loco, Taco Bell or some other fast food joint that is not full of gluten but inevitably causes me to worry that I’m going to make my kids die an early death from their GMO-laden, toxic, hormone pumped chicken/cows, not to mention increase tics because, you know, I’m going to cure this whole syndrome with food alone.

* Have a few people close to me be less close to me because I’ve been so busy working my patience resembles a burned out elecrical chord on a dried out Christmas tree and, well, apparently I’m not as much fun to be around when I’m on four hours of sleep, six cups of coffee, and enough Oreo cookies to make Santa vomit. 

After 8 weeks of this insanity routine, my kids started school.

Normally I cry.

This year, it was all I could do to numbly kiss them goodbye at the classroom door. On one hand, it saved me the agony of worrying about my sixth (yes, SIXTH) grade boy’s tics increasing. I was too tired to freak out. “He’s a strong kid,” I told myself, and I meant it. “If he’s fine, then stop.” Work, with all it’s zillion tasks and responsibilities, simply didn’t allow for excess rumination. It was fall down and die of fear, or keep moving. I chose the latter.

On the other hand, numbness and stone cold resolve was a real sign for me that in running such a rapid pace I was not only outrunning grief, I was outrunning joy.

When was the last time I sat with my kids and read a book?

When was the last time I had coffee with my mom at the mall?

When was the last time I sat in my room, organized my photos, and just laughed at some of my family and friends’ ridiculous hair-do’s, not to mention my own?

While I can’t say I didn’t do any of those things mentioned above, I wasn’t as present as I’d like to be.

But today, after almost 10 months of marathon training, I was given my walking papers at work. (Well, not 100% true. My job was reduced to 75% of its original description. Which means 75% less pay.)

Fear? Anxiety? A wee bit. But truthfully, not that much. I truly feel God has a plan for me. Despite a whole lot of uncertainty ahead, joy and hope is bubbling up to the surface.

I’ll get to be present.

Present on my site.

Present in my home.

Present in my community.

And people, that is SUCH a gift.

I’ve missed you.

Andrea

(Pic of Stink, Pip and Miss L, starting 6th and 5th)

Wait, there’s more!

Check out more posts about Tourettes at the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome where this blog is syndicated.

Find me on FB here. 

Follow me on Twitter 

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I Used To Be Such a Good Blogger…

Andrea Frazer

…But a full-time job with kids home at all summer has put a serious damper on my style. I think I need a degree in project management to keep track of their schedules and my husband’s wacky work schedule. Not to mention my kids need sustenance. Seriously, mamas, kids need attention every day. EVERY DAY. Can you even believe it?

A big shout out to all my friends who have circled the wagon this past month to take my kids to such wonderful places as the beach, downtown Los Angeles for Mexican dresses, art openings, Swedish festivals, bowling, parties, sleepovers and more. I don’t even know if any of you read this blog, but if you do, you know who you are. I am so very grateful.

To answer the last blog’s question of ‘Would you tell a camp counselor if your kid had T.S.?’ I did indeed tell the camp director. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t even twitch – and not because she doesn’t have T.S.. She simply didn’t react because, apparently, I’m not the only mom in the world who has a child with special needs.

I was immediately put at ease, especially with her closing statement. “I am glad you said something,” she offered kindly, “Because if some kid acted poorly toward him, I’d want to know that he could advocate for himself or talk to his counselor.”

“My son not only advocates for his tics, he also advocates for seconds on popsicles, extra pool time and extra room on stage to take his final bow,” I said, giving her a small glimpse into his over-the-top personality.

She smiled, “He’ll have to join in line behind the other boys,” she said. “This is a public park n’ rec. That kind of behavior is par for the course.”

One week later, my son came home in tears.

“Oh, no,” I said, pulling him into my arms. “What’s got you so upset?”

“I don’t know,” he sniffled, sitting on my lap. I almost gasped at how heavy he was, but I decided breathing was overrated. How long would my almost sixth grader want to cuddle with me? I bent my head next to his mop of curl, enjoying the warmth of his bear paws on my knees.  I took a deep breath, was reminded he needed to wear Roll On with more frequency, and snuggled close. “You must know what’s wrong,” I nudged him.

“Well, I guess I do. But I just don’t want to say.”

“Oh, no,” I though. He’d been lightly hiccupping all week, likely due to chlorine overload. I was ready for his tale of woes about the kid at the snack bar who asked him to keep his noises to himself.

“Did some kid tease you?” I asked?

He immediately bristled and pulled away. “No! What would they do that?”

“Stupid me!” I wanted to respond. Instead I went with, “Then what’s the problem?”

“Well, you’re working so hard, and it costs money to go, so I feel bad saying this, but…” he burst into tears. “I’m not a fan of the great outdoors! Oh, Mama, I am a fan of the great indoors!”

I stifled my laughter, gave him a huge, promised him we’d turn on the air condition and watch TV the following week while his sister sweated her ass off with the other campers. “And lots of snacks,” he advised. “And lots of snacks.” Problem solved.

Here are a few images of what Stink considers to be ideal activity. Thank God he’s estimated to be SIX FOOT NINE. No joke. If not, he’d be bigger than a Whale at McDonalds.

dom 1 dom 3 dom 4 dom 5

 

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What is your passion, Mamas?

Andrea Frazer

Hi –

As I write this post, my nose is dripping in goo. My son is upstairs reading the fourth book of the Harry Potter series. My daughter is selling “cootie catchers” (these paper crafts that tell the future) on the corner with her friend Miss L.

Regarding my nose, it is awful to be sick and working full-time. But hey, the bright side is that Pip made me a pot of coffee before bounding out the house and Stink brought me water. My husband brought me two biscottsi and this laptop. My living room is clean and the birds are chirping! Plus two days a week I work from home. I am pretty darn lucky.

Regarding my son and his books, I’m thrilled he likes them so much. Library day is still one of his favorite outings. I was going to write you that when he reads he doesn’t tic, but he just let out a loudish kind of exhale. I am not a fan of this particular one as it’s the loudest one he’s ever had – and I thought we had dodged a bullet on those intrusive ones –  but he’s happy, so I must be, too. (It’s not crazy relentless unless he’s playing videos. Will I stop the video game insanity once and for all? No. Two hours/day on weekends is fine.)

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Regarding my daughter selling cootie catchers on street corners, Miss L’s mom is with them. And seriously, that kid makes cash – about ten bucks each time drags the cart out and sets up shop. “Mommy, being a kid is great!” she says. “People give us stuff just because they think we are cute!”

NOTE: There’s a fine line between cute 9-year-old and curvy pre-tween, so let’s just say her cootie catcher street corner days will be over soon. But guess who else isn’t going to be young forever? Yup, none other than my Stink. He’ll be 12 in January. I might not miss the tics when they finally go into remission in his late teens, but I’ll sure miss his spirit. He is pure joy and outrageous fun.

I write this because my job right now is not easy. I’m doing all this tech stuff I’m not a fan of. I commute a LONG way. I’m tired. But the deal is, it’s where I need to be right now while my husband grows his business. It’s teaching me that no one has died from a difficult employment gig. And, well, I don’t want to miss out on my kids’ childhoods because I was so caught up in what wasn’t working: tics, job stress, life changes at home.

Summer is coming. What will I be doing? Beach Fridays with the kids when I get out of work at 2. Long days at the local public pool. A camping excursion with the hubby and babies where we’ll over eat, over hike, get filthy dirty and enjoy some laughs.

Oh, and I’m going to write. Yup, I’m getting my portfolio up online and going to get back freelance writing again. If my book sells, great. If it doesn’t, I can still do the writing. Why? Because when I don’t, I feel cranky and tired and suddenly the tics are SO MUCH BIGGER than they need to be. My husband is SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING and my daughter is WAAAAY TOO DEMANDING. Writing gives me hope, and hope trumps crap every single time.

What about you? What do you do for a living? Do you work raising babies or work in an office? What is your passion? And the bigger question, are you pursuing it? I want to know.

I miss interacting with you ladies. Leave a comment and let me know how I can encourage you.

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Supplements, Acupuncture and Dr. Sims/Stacks

Andrea Frazer

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, so I checked out what you all are interested in most. Turns out I get the most clicks for:

* Supplements

* Acupuncture – does it work?

* Dr. Sims and Dr. Stacks – dentists who claim to fix T.S. with mouthpieces

Clearly, the “how to cure tics” theme is huge for many of you. It was a big theme for me in the beginning, too.

Cut to almost eight years later, it’s not that big of a thing anymore.  I don’t say this to sound cold, heartless or un-empathetic to those of you still in the pit of “This sucks” despair. But I say it because of one big reason:

I couldn’t fix it.

Nope. All the acupuncture, all the supplements, all the homeopathic visits that caused fighting with my hubby over finances. All the money spent on the best food out there… it didn’t stop the tics.

For us, it went like this: Mild to medium, back to mild and now kind of mediumish.

What’s he on supplement wise now? Nothing.

What’s he eating? Gluten free, no exceptions (except for one week of camp this summer. Wish us luck.)

Did we ever try the dentist? Um, we can’t even afford braces right now, let alone a trip across the country to get a mouthpiece for tics.

Here’s what works for us: Lots of laughter, lots of good sleep, lots of good food, minimal video games, maximum acceptance.

Should you try other things? YES! Many of my friends have really helped their kids through all the items I mentioned above, but T.S. is not a one size fits all program. For us, we found just keeping the stress down was best. If his tics go back up, we’ll look into supplements again, along with medication if needed.

I just wanted to say that if you’re out there and fearing for your kid, please know that while you might not be able to stop those tics right away, you can do a HELL of a lot by encouraging him or her to be the best human being they can be, tics be damned.

That’s all I have for tonight.

Oh, and this photo of Stink who lights me up like no other!

Good night!

dominic

 

 

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Blog Hop – Why I Write!

Andrea Frazer

I bring this long fast to an end to talk about something dear to my heart. No, not tics! Writing!

Not only did I just finish a second rewrite of my book where it’s actually being considered by some pretty decent agencies (Squeeeeeel!) but a lovely writer named Lorraine Devon Wilke asked me to participate in her Blog Hop.

What is this Blog Hop, you ask?

A Blog Hop is where a writer refers her followers back to other fabulous voices in the online community. I’m a big fan of supporting other writers, especially women, so I said ‘Yes’ to the opportunity to play.

To start with, let me give some love back to Lorraine!

lorraineLorraine Devon Wilke is a creative hyphenate currently enjoying her three-ring circus of writing, photography, and music. She’s a longtime HuffingtonPost contributor, a successful screenwriter, and a widely published essayist; she curates her fine art photography site, as well as her personal blog at Rock+Paper+Music, and her original CD, Somewhere On the Way, can be found at CDBaby.com andITunes. But her latest “big adventure” is the launch of her first novel, After the Sucker Punch, atAmazon…stop in for a copy! Check www.lorrainedevonwilke.com for links and information, www.AfterTheSuckerPunch.com for updates and links for her book, and stop by her blog at www.rockpapermusic.com for her own answers to these questions! 

Secondly, here are a few questions I was asked to answer. I will ask the same of two other writers I bring into this. Check back Tuesday or Wednesday as I add them!

1.What am I working on?

Writing full time for a faith website

Currently I’m writing full time for the faith website, Believe.com. This means spear-heading campaigns such as “I’m a Believer,” featuring such up and coming voices as Leanne Penny, Doreen Lecheler and Michelle Wulfestieg. I also get to feature old friends and equally talented voices such as Gretchen Hanna.

I have contributed over 50 articles since December, including movie reviews for Noah, Son of God, Heaven is for Real and more. I have the pleasure of interviewing big faith writers, too, like Ted Dekker. (You can see my bio at the top of this link. The articles are underneath it.)

While I don’t mind the movie and book reviews, I’m most proud of the blog I write which features a transparent look into my journey of faith.

Why be so open online? Am I that needy?

Yes. I’m needy for connection. And so are a lot of people. Life is too short to go about it alone. Writing gives me the wonderful opportunity to look fear in the eye and say, “Buzz off. You don’t scare me. I got peeps around the world going to emotional bat for me. And guess what? I’m doing the same for them. Plus, by writing about faith, I have people PRAYING for me now, too. Look out!”)

Some people wouldn’t “air their dirty laundry” for the whole world to see, but I don’t look at my personal writing this way. I also don’t buy that to be a person of faith we must not have challenges. No, I don’t believe we have to be perfect to find Jesus.I believe Jesus wants us to come to Him as we are, because He is perfect. That is the gospel. That is the redemption. When we can get real with our very ugly warts and scars, we can rise into the people we are meant to be in our souls.

Want to see those blogs? They are located in the parent section at the right side bar!  It’s called “Fundamentally Imperfect.” I wanted the title”Jesus on the Couch and other Tales of Christian Therapy” but hey, life ain’t perfect. This leads me to question #2.

2. How does my work differ from others in its genre?

My writing is a bit different than what many people expect Christian writing to be. There is a misconception Christians are the epitome of hypocrisy – shiny on the outside, rotting on the inside. Me? I make no bones about it. I’m a rotten sinner. What do I mean by that? Sin is simply being separated from God. Every day I have to fight my natural instinct to do what I want to do. I don’t get to run off with Hugh Jackman and smoke doobage at Disneyland while singing Sesame Street. Instead, I have to be a responsible human being. Christianity gives me permission to know I’m not alone. That someone else out there loves me enough that I don’t have to be perfect.

Do I 100% believe everything in my faith? No. I don’t. I admit it. If being open and honest about some of the things I’m not sure about makes me a wishy washy Christian, then I guess I am. But, like a kid, I didn’t know everything about what it meant to be an adult, but I trusted my dad. Jesus is my Father now, and I can moan and complain all I want, but I feel safer, more creative and stronger under His guidance than I do without Him, so I journey on.

3) Why do I write what I do?

I write what I do because I got lucky enough to have someone find me on Linked In right when my husband lost his job. Some big company actually wanted to pay me to talk to writers all day, interview production folk, and write about my faith journey. So I said yes!

I also write because in writing there is connection. I am not afraid to be vulnerable, because in being so, I let others know they don’t have to be perfect. Then they tell me their war stories and together we trudge toward our happy destiny of peace together.

4) How does my writing process work?

I write every day without exception. Mostly I write because I’m on deadline, but when I am writing for myself, I set a time and do it. Example: My second rewrite was due May 1. I’m working full time. I have kids I pick up from school at 3. This means I’m up at 5am to be on the road by 6. Lest I sound like  martyr, I’m grateful to God to have this job. But my job is not as exciting to me as my book. It just isn’t.

And so, with that in mind, I wrote an hour/day from 6am – 7 for a month straight. I came home and did an additional 2 hours of paid work later. I knew, in my gut, that THIS WAS THE TIME to finish this book. I know my job won’t last forever. I want to have something I love in the depth of my soul to carry me into my next experience. I think it’s this book, but if I’m wrong, I’ll never regret writing it. I’ll self-publish if it’s not picked up by a traditional publication!

Any questions?

Does anyone have any questions? I’m not often asked about my writing or my faith on this site. I am your tic mama and I love that. But I also know that if it weren’t for my writing, I’d be much more stressed about tics which, for the record, are a bit better today! (Though my sweet boy DID have a new tic which kind of scared me. Check back Wed for more info.)

And come back tomorrow to see a few new writers I’m going to add to this Blog Hop!

Love,

Andrea

 

 

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Samstink & Deli-rious

Andrea Frazer

The title is my bad attempt at reframing the Bible story of Samson and Delilah. For those of you who don’t know it, let me give you the quick recount.

Story of Samson and Delilah

1.  Samson is born with the gift of strength

2. Samson is to use his gift for God

3. Samson instead falls head over heels in love with a prostitute

4. Samson reveals to this hoe that his strength lies in his hair

5. While sleeping, said hoe cuts his hair

6. Samson, weak and defenseless, is taken to prison where his eyes are gouged out

7. Samson slowly grows back his hair, along with his strength

8. Other inmates and guards, perhaps due to amazing prison food or cellmate Bible hour, don’t notice his hair getting longer

9. During a pagan ritual, when Samson is marched out to be slaughtered, he puts his hands between two pillar posts and knocks down the temple, killing both himself and the everyone in it

10. The Takeaway: If Samson had just listened to God, instead of that slut, life would have been better.

My Version of Sunday’s events – Samstink & Deli-rious (me being delirious, Samstink being played by yours truly on the bike.)

dom and sophia on bike

1. Samstink is born with the gift of outrageous personality

2. Samstink should be using his gift for God

3. Samstink instead falls head over heels in love with all things Pokemon, BeyBlades, video game and comic book

4. Samstink reveals his passion during Sunday school class and, rather than pay attention, sneaks in a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book during Bible hour. In addition, according to his sister the spy, he talks back incessantly to teachers. Said informant’s testimony is backed up by Samstink’s defiance to parents the whole drive home. (No, we did not get him a do-nut. No, we did not stop at the park. No, we did not get tacos and he would be forced to eat gluten free tuna sandwiches for lunch. Yes, we are awful parents.)

5. Post-church, rather than hang at home and play videos, Mama forces long-haired, moppy Samstink to get a haircut

6. Samstink, moaning and defenseless, cries as the locks are shorn, transforming him from disheveled homeless child to good Christian solider in twenty minutes flat

dom pic

7. Samstink vows to grow his hair back, along with his manners and gratitude

8. Other family members, promising to remind him when he’s being argumentative, defiant and wearing food on his mouth, remind him of how much he is loved

9. During a pagan routine, one that involves Mama sitting at her work desk by 7am an hour from home, gets an email from Samstink’s father. It features a photo of Samstink all ready for school with his new hair and clean clothes

10. The Takeaway: If Samstink had just stopped acting like a defiant turd, his mama would never have had to resort to such evil measures

THE FINAL PUNCH

Samstink, insisting his new hair was goofy, had the final word with his outfit. Because, you know, shiny blue crocs, nylon shorts, a polyester Mario shirt combined with a Scooby Doo hat and rainbow gloves is far more subtle than a haircut.

Mama’s takeaway: Short of dressing the kid herself, this mama is going to have to learn to pick her battles her battles  . dom and sophia post haircut

 

 

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My Little Lazy Ticker

Andrea Frazer

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A quick check in to say all is status quo around these here parts. Tics mild as opposed to moderate – likely due to a big drop in gluten intake.

Stink is tired of the acupuncture – says he’s bored of lying on the table when all he can do is think about Mario, Pokemon and create comic books in his head. Then again, he’s also bored of school. He thinks waiting around for everyone to finish math on their worksheets while he’s done the mental computations is completely a waste of time. He is considered a “slam dunk” by our principal’s office for a GATE program at a local middle school should we choose to send him to a new Junior High, but he says he doesn’t want to take the gifted test because he doesn’t want more than ten minutes of homework every night.

Basically, I’m raising a gifted lazy ass.

Prayers accepted.

PS: If you live in Los Angeles, there is a Tourette Syndrome event happening in Hollywood this evening. It is featuring Michael Wolff – a gifted pianist – who is apparently the inspiration for the movie The Tic Code. Am I the only person on the planet who never saw this movie or even heard of it?

 

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Follow Happily Ticked Off on Facebook!

Andrea Frazer

ts image

In an effort to get people connected, you can now find posts from this site as well as other inspirational T.S. related stuff, on Facebook.

Follow me here! Feel free to write me, also, at HappilyTickedOff@Gmail.com

Talk at you soon – and can’t wait to connect.

acupuncture, Tics, Tourettes, Uncategorized

Acupuncture Video #3 – Western vs. Chinese Medicine

Andrea Frazer

In my third video of a series of acupuncture pieces, Martina Eberhard discusses the difference between Chinese and Western Medicine. Hint: It’s not that one doctor’s office has Fortune Cookies. Though if one did, I would make sure yours read: “Focus on you child’s gifts today!”

Happy end of weekend.

Andrea