Tag: Tourettes

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2 Reasons to Live

Andrea Frazer

My left and right boobies: Both healthy!

I am keeping this short for no other reason than to let you know I’m thinking about you all.

I’m also relieved to report that my first mammogram came back healthy. I had no reason to think it wouldn’t, but it was scary none-the-less.

The take-away from the experience was that I realized just how much I had to live for. Sure, I loved my life before, but sometimes I feel sorry for myself. It took thinking about what it would be like to not be with my kids – tics and all – to make me realize just how fortunate I really am.

Now, to be fair, all negative mammos don’t mean death. And all tics don’t bother everyone. Am I being extreme here? Sure. But fear works that way. It’s like a seedling that grows like, dare I say, a cancer. Once it’s there, it’s hard to stop it.

Let me try and squelch some of your fears with this tiny post: Your child is fine. You are fine. I am here for you – my big healthy boobies and all of my heart. We love you.

Andrea

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Stink Turns 9, Mario Turns 0

Andrea Frazer

So most of you know how much I love Mario I hope that little fat fxx gets offed by Japanese Gaming Executives and is replaced by a First Person Shooter Game called “Crunchy Mama Vs. DS Satan Zombies.”

The object of the game is that the virtual hero you create, preferably a flabby ass forty year old like myself who wears thrift store Ugg boots and wreaks of Yuban, gets to huck gluten free cardboard type spelt bread at the heads of Video Game Creators. For every head that rolls, it’s one less tic you’ll have to deal with.

Lead players will also wipe out:

* Aspergers

* ADHD

* IEPs

* Un-inspired educators

* Uneducated buffoons who spell Tourettes “Turrets”

* Dill

That last one on the list? I just added it because I hate dill.

Without getting too personal about my son’s life – which is a joke because this whole blog is dedicated to analyzing every aspect of his confusing syndrome – I’ll say that I’ve been most frustrated about his obessions lately. The tics? Very very minimal. God bless acupuncture! But the constant never ending talk about Mario. DRIVING ME INSANE OH MY GOD SHOOT ME I’M GOING TO GO CRAZIER THAN I ALREADY AM.

Let’s assume he has a pending diagnosis that would make his inability to focus on anything other than his favorite topic impossible. Let’s say that with this diagnosis is hope for a brilliant academic future but a decent chance that he’s wired the way he is for better or for worse? Even if that is the case, I can’t take the talk about Mario 24/7. He has to curb it.

So I’ve installed the new Mario Behavior Chart which I’m making his teacher implement. It goes like this:

* He gets a star if he doesn’t talk about it before recess

* Same thing before lunch

* Same thing before dismissal.

* His teacher gives him a few extra stars if he doesn’t interrupt, say inappropriate things, etc.

I don’t care how much he talks about it on the playground.

This new system, let me say, is working! It’s not intended to be about censorship. It’s about letting the side of his brain that is super intelligent work on learning other stuff. It will allow new people into his world and enrich his relationships. It will tie in his weekend game time to good behavior.

This has all taken an incredible amount of patience. If I could, I’d drink three glasses of wine/day – I’m that tired by 8PM. But drinking is a slippery slope, so I’m not.

Not until Friday.

And then, all bets go out the window. Stink can play his beloved Wii and I can down some good red wine with the girls.

And on Saturday, during his Star Wars themed birthday party Fat Fxx Mario Debacle, I will be the first to take a baseball bat and whack the living lights out of that Fuzzy Plumber Pinata.

I’m obsessing a bit tonight. Do you think I have Aspergers or am I just jonesing for Friday?

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Scheduling Mama, Scheduling Kid

Andrea Frazer

I’m back! It’s been about 2 of the craziest weeks since the holidays. If you’re like me, between kids and working and hobbies and errand running and family obligations stuff just gets so busy everything gets done but nothing gets done well.

I don’t like that. Call it the perfectionist in me, but doing a lot simply to check it off the list isn’t good enough. I want to be present in my life – even the mundane stuff like house cleaning and walking the kids to school.

Someone who knows a bit about mindfullness is a writer friend of mine, Kate Hanley. Check out her weekly column at Ms.Mindbody. She’s even written the ultimate Chill Guide which you can find at her website.

I can’t even close to call myself a meditator. One of my biggest beefs with that practice has always been, “How can I find silence when my kid is vocally ticking!”

But even if I weren’t kidding – which I am (come on, people, haven’t you heard of ear plugs?) – the fact is that I simply haven’t carved out the time to do it. I have, though, found some ways to  organize my time so that I work more efficiently.

I’d like to talk about that this week, for in taking care of Mama, it has worked out that I am less worried about the things I can’t control, like T.S.! I can just do my best. That’s all any of us can do.

In closing, I’ll leave you with a few of my favorite pics taken over the past 2 weeks. I’d love to hear how you and your family are doing, too.

Here’s my daughter and me at Pip’s First Confession. Yes, I confess I have been a bad blogger! Oh, readership – all 20 of you – forgive me!

Here’s Rex, the kids, and little Miss L chilling out on a weekend night before a typical Saturday sleepover.

And here we have one of my favorite moments from our snow getaway last weekend. The kids had been disappointed that our cabin wasn’t covered in white, but the very next morning, we woke up to just enough flakes to enjoy some delicious sample tasting and a sled run down the hill.

Life with T.S. can feel far from perfect, folk, but I promise you that the more you live in the moment, the more you’ll look beyond a few annoying tics and cherish the friendships, the love and the smiles. A few extra snowflakes? That’s just icing on the cake.

Until next time,  hug that ticker of yours today!

Andrea

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Acupuncture Update #3 and Meditation

Andrea Frazer

Stink was a bit head shaky, twitchy on Thursday. A session with Martina cleared this right up.

At first, Stink would complain about acupuncture. It was not the needles, but the time he had to take out of his day to sit still, that bugged him.

But now, he loves it. He is especially fond of Thursday’s sessions when he lays in Mama and Papa’s bed and hears this awesome meditation CD. In fact, the CD relaxes him so much, he and his sister go to sleep with it at night. It even worked in knocking him and his best buddy out in fifteen minutes on Saturday night.

This was after playing the Wii, seeing a movie, and running around like hellions in the backyard.

Just saying, if my kid and his 9 year old friend can go from this…

…to this

…it might be worth a shot for your little tickers.

Meditation CDs and acupuncture aren’t miracle cures, but for us, they are working.

More later!

Tics, Tourettes, Uncategorized

Acupuncture for Tourettes and Tics

Andrea Frazer

Many times in the early days, when Stink’s tics seemed awful, I’d say, “God, I’ll trade in x if you take Stink’s tics away.”

When things were calm, I’d say, “God, I’ll trade in x if you keep the twitches mellow just like they are.”

My prayer request was not granted, but as the Rolling Stone song says, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

Apparently what Mama needed was her life back – a life that didn’t consist of worrying about Stink 24 hours a day. It didn’t mean I didn’t have to try to suppress the tics and keep him healthy, but as the motto for my website goes, I had to work toward “Accepting the tics I couldn’t change, change the tics I could, and have the wisdom to know the difference.”

After some careful prayer and consideration, it was pretty obvious I had to get back to my writing, hence this blog and my book. (The book… I’m so behind. I’m going to have to stop talking about it and just do it.)

While doing what I love didn’t change Stink’s tics, it helped me stop focusing like a laser light on what I couldn’t change and try a few new things. One of those is acupuncture with the talented Martina Eberhard.

As you can see, needles in Stink’s ears left him highly traumatized.

Stink will be seeing Martina 2 days/week for at least two months. I’ll keep you informed of his progress.

Meanwhile, Martina will be working on his “wind” to create better digestion. Apparently his tongue is an off color, indicating that he is not processing food as well as he could which doesn’t help with tics. Given he’s eaten more gluten than a truckload of Webby’s bread this vacation, I’m shocked his tongue hasn’t transformed into a oblong ball of white spongy flour.

What about you all? What kind of treatments have you pursued either for yourself or your kids?

Until next time, enjoy the pleasant visual of needles being placed into my kid’s shins and head. The irony that just 12 hours earlier I was using sewing needles to hem his pants did not escape me.

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5 Ways To Face TS and Tics In 2012

Andrea Frazer

I’m excited to bring you my very first post at my new website domain! Like my son’s favorite present from Santa, I hope my site can be a treasured gift to you so that you can find joy despite a diagnosis you may not be thrilled with. If there’s something you disagree with, let me know.

For those of you new to my blog, you can catch up on my TS journey at my old site here. But like Tourettes, despite good and bad days getting used to my new platform, this is my new home. Welcome!

For my first entry, I thought I’d cut and paste an entry I wrote in response to a friend of mine who was worried about her son’s new facial tics. She, like many new moms at the beginning, has moments of complete devastation. Sure, there are times when she feels like she’s okay with her son’s diagnosis (like the time when her son’s tics are the most minimal – shocking, I know.) But just when she feels like maybe she’s accepted his condition, a new twitch starts. With it comes fear, riding on a raging horse.

She wrote that she felt bad about, well, feeling bad! Like somehow she should be more accepting! Other moms in our group, it seems, are “over T.S.” and she isn’t.

For those of you who might feel like you are alone – that other folk can handle T.S. (or any disorder) and you’re in a fetal position in the corner drowning your sorrows with Two Buck Chuck from a sippy cup (hey, I resemble that remark!) rest assured – we all have our off days. Or weeks. Or months. Just hang in there – you will feel better in time.

Here’s my two cents on the subject. I edited my response a bit for the purposes of this blog.

I have been better lately for a variety of reasons.

1. Time: I have been down this road for FIVE years. I get the waxing and waning. I’ve done it all, from food and diet to supplements and possible medication options. I’ve done the holistic docs. I’m starting acupuncture. I have gotten to a point where I accept that Stink has TS and I”m doing my best. I don’t feel like ‘why can’t I fix it’ because I know I can’t 100%. But that leads me to #2.

2. A Plan.I have one. I’m going to do Brain Balance. I need to make some money to do that. This means selling some articles, teaching some online writing classes, Ebay, etc. Doing what I’m passionate about not only makes me joyful, but it has the added benefit of making me think less about the tics so I can actually change something I have control over: my attitude.

3. My Faith – Hope: Christianity has been a tremendous source of support for my up and down emotions.

* Note: Where I ramble like a Bible Thumper –  Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This passage is a source of great hope for me. It means that my “suffering” is not in vain.

That tics are just like a puzzle piece. For a while, like when Stink was first diagnosed, the puzzle pieces seemed jarring. It felt like they would never fit together. Slowly, with my plan, I got the border put together. That was my emotional balance.

Now I have some of the middle put together. I can see a beautiful picture despite some missing holes. With faith, the holes can be filled in with a picture I create. That picture is a life where Stink is happy, healthy, funny and over T.S.. And if he’s not over T.S., it’s not in vain, because his character, and mine, was shaped from it.

* More thumping: And a sidenote!  I encourage all of you to find your own personal road to faith! Romans 5: 3-5 promises “And we rejoice in the HOPE of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance: perseverance, character: and character, HOPE. And HOPE does not disappoint us.” (Hooray for hope! I love hope!)

4. Finding my Passion: My writing has been tremendously helpful to me. It’s my love. I can’t form sentences and write blog posts while, at the same time, obsessing about tics. It’s simply impossible. In writing this blog, I am serving others as well. I have bad days like we all do, but in lifting others up, I am selfishly lifting myself up also. The key for me in helping others was realizing that I can’t just serve when I’m feeling okay. God can use me when I’m feeling like a piece of spit out gum stuck to the sidewalk. Before long, I’m blowing good bubbles of encouragement. And I even forgive myself for stupid analogies like the one I just wrote.

* Last thing on serving others: This is not meant as some do-good Christian tip. I don’t care what your religion is or how you feel. Taking your eyes off yourself, and putting them on someone else, is the cure-all for anthing. Don’t believe me? Try it. You’ll get hooked.

5. Acceptance: I accept that some days I’m just down. I don’t like the verbal tics any more than you all do. I have moments where I can’t be in the same room with Stink. I need a break. I have to fight for my “me” time and my “down time” and work on my marriage to do this. It’s created a wedge between my husband and me, at times, as I’m no longer the “yes” person where he gets all the breaks after his hard day at work and I continue to slave. Yes, I have down time while the kids are at school, but I also do a hell of a lot of work while I’m at home alone. I know… I KNOW… I’m worth some relaxation. Rex is starting to understand that. It’s not been a fun road, but he’s getting there, and that is all I need. Love is not a feeling – it’s an action. It’s a verb.

To help with all five points above, I am not ashamed to say I take 75mg of Zoloft every day. It’s evened me out enough to take my head out of my ass and face life the way life is. I hope to not be on it forever, but if I need to take it, I will. My good friend, Chrissy, sent me a link that talks about depression better than I could.

In closing, please know I’m here for all of you. I hope you’ll consider making a plan for yourselves to then get a plan for your child. If it’s meds, go for it. If it’s back to work, go for it. If it’s exercise, go for it. But know this: if it weren’t TS, you’d face something else at some point in your life. Perhaps your mom would die, throwing you into a tailspin. Or a husband who cheats on you. Or your child could have some other illness or you could be diagnosed with something.

I truly truly believe, now, that TS is the invitation we all need to accept life on life’s terms and do the best we can. I pray that you all find peace and are not so hard on yourselves. I’ll take the same hope for me, too.

Until tomorrow, remember my motto: A kid who tics with confidence outweighs an insecure  ass wipe any day of the week. (I should probably consider revising this tagline, but for now, the sentiment remains! Hug that ticker today!)