It’s been a few weeks of
hell life on life’s terms.
I say “hell” – but in reality, it’s just been busy. Maybe you know the feeling.
- Shopping for school supplies
- Shopping for shoes
- Last minute haircuts
- Lunch shopping
- My daughter having to get rescued by a life guard last Friday at the beach
- My daughter getting bitten by a dog a few days later
Let’s not forget I had to get adjusted to a new classroom this year, too.
Add in meals, shopping and the general state of insanity in this crazy go-go-go world it can be easy to feel depleted.
And let’s face it, sometimes I am.
But this school year, more than before, I’m determined to focus on what’s going right. The negative will always be there, but really, is it negative? Or is it just my own expectations falling short? While sometimes things just aren’t acceptable, often times, it’s my insistence on perfection that makes the every day ups and downs of life feel more burdensome. That, my friends, is something I’m really working on.
Counting My Blessings (Yes, It’s Cheesy, But I Don’t Care)
Sure, my kid still has some tics, but he is making out just fine. He is meeting friends, getting to class and so far hasn’t decided that everything about ninth grade is stupid. (That will happen likely next Wednesday, but for now, I’m enjoying the honeymoon.)
How to Survive a Teenager? Stop Nagging and Let Them Be THEM
Part of the success I feel in my kid’s year so far has been my lack of nagging. As a control freak, A-personality type, I really really REALLY want him to do well in school and life. But over the past few years, it’s become super clear to me that his life means his life. Not mine. I can offer suggestions and give ideas, but in the end, I’ve found he and I do a lot better when I’m not policing his every move. Relationship over being right has worked better in our case. This, sadly for the perfectionist in me, means letting go of:
- A clean room (It looks North Korea finally fired that missile)
- Tic management (He still doesn’t want to do meds or go dairy free. Eye rolls and shakes could go away with some CBD oil, but he’s not having it. It’s his body so it’s his call.)
- Stupid arguments (Apparently he knows everything there is to know about Gravity Falls, how to clean up acne and why essential oils are really not all they are cracked up to be. Not. Worth. Fighting.)
What I Hold My Ground On
- Rudeness. He is simply not allowed to treat me like a servant. He is part of the family. I don’t work for him.
- Chores. If he wants to spend thirty minutes looking for his size 14 shoes (yes, SIZE 14) under Mt. Stinky 6’3 Pile O Laundry, let him. But if it’s his turn to do the dishes or clean the dog poo, it’s got to happen.
And Then There’s This
This my son’s answer to him and his sister’s chore list. To say I screamed in shock at “Thou Who Will Not Be Named”‘s face on my fridge is an understatement.
But at the end of the day, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And I can spend the end of a Wednesday evening, even when I’ve dishes to clean and floors to mop, trying to take his property in Monopoly. Because at some point this 9th grader is going to realize he’s cuter than he realizes and some other girl is going to want to hang with him instead.
A sense of humor in this house is pretty darn important. It trumps tics, money and being right every single time.
I hope you’ll join me on the path to loving our kids exactly where they’re at. It’s not always easy, but it’s the best “Get out Jail Card” I know.
Until next time,
My book is available on Amazon. Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on FB.