Tag: education to class on tourettes

Tonight I had to write the letter below to Stink’s teacher. Apparently, this is the week of honest correspondence. Spineless salespeople…. ignorant gradeschoolers… at least I knew Stink’s teacher would be receptive.

From our first conversation last year in the halls – before she was even Stink’s teacher – she demonstrated not only humor and smarts but an emotional intelligence that I’d been dreaming of in an educator.

Still, those fears I had when he was diagnosed five years ago – worries that included being teased and harrassed for noises and twitches he couldn’t control – were finally being realized. It was a somber moment.

At the same time, it was liberating. Because although I wished I didn’t have to deal with this, I wasn’t scared. And my son wasn’t too upset either. Sad an annoyed? Yes. But broken? Hardly. The past five years had been spent concentating on Stink’s strength, not his weaknesses. No fourth grader was going to take him down.

So with strength (I fake it sometimes) and lack of fear (anxiety will hit later when I’m PMSing or out of Zoloft or Day 6 of my no nightly glass of vino quest) I give you the letter which all mothers of tickers worry about writing:

Hi –

So I hate to be THAT mom, but I was saying prayers with Stink tonight and he mentioned feeling sad about some kid named Mama Never Taught Me Empathy I’m a Cry For Help who always asks about his tics.Stink doesn’t care if people ask, and he gives the standard, “Oh, I have Tourettes and make tics. I can’t help it!” and that usually suffices.

But apparently this kid keeps saying, “You CAN help it. You CAN help your T.S..” He will move out of line if he’s next to Stink and say he does not want to stand next to him because of the sounds.

There’s 3 things going on in my opinion:

1. Of COURSE people are going to be annoyed sometimes. As a mom, I get annoyed myself but…

2. It’s an opportunity for kids to be more accepting of others.

3. Stink needs to educate the class on his condition. It might make his tics calm down.

Is there any way, sooner than later, my son can have the floor and just give an update to the class on what it is to have T.S..? I can get a video about it if that will help.

Or maybe Stink can talk about it in a PLC? (TRANSLATION for my blog readers: PLC stands for “Peaceful Learning Circle”. My kids go to a fabulous developmental hippy co-op amazing public charter school. They call teachers by first names. They used to have an assistant T.A. who wore mismatched socks named who sported a fro and went by “ChaChi”. I can’t make this stuff up. Now back to the letter to Stink’s teacher.)

I feel bad hitting you with all this on the 3rd week of school. I just want to nip the “social” stuff in the bud now so I can really focus on, well, getting Stink to FOCUS and be the best he can be.

Thank you –

Andrea (and Rex!)

My question for you readers: So what would you do? No, kicking some kid to Mars is not an option. Stink doesn’t want meds for his tics. He says he feels sad, but not enough for more medicine. He thinks this kid just needs to deal with it. Do you? I see both sides, honestly, but most of all, I’m happy my kid is confident in himself. Still… where do I make choices for him where his social life is at stake? You know, like being invited to a party by an ignorant dumb ass who only hangs out with ignorant dumbasses? Oh, wait…

Note to self: Cancel anti-ticking drug order. And congrats on 5 pounds lost! 10 more to go!

Here are my babies at our cabin this weekend. They cracked us up by surprising us with Twin Day outfits in their suitcase. Of course they had no tooth brushes, but who cares? They’ll be old with no teeth but like each other. Let’s see if Ignoramous STOP TICKING bully boy from Stink’s class can boast that. Well, maybe the no teeth part. If he keeps it up, someone will knock his front chopper out one day. I won’t cry will fake compassion for him.

I am steaming mad tonight, and it’s not that Stink’s tics are pretty non-stop. Quite the contrary, I am really taking on my mantra: “If you can’t fix the tics, fix yourself.” I am exercising, relaxing, off the wine  (in an attempt to drop 15 pounds) and just counting my blessings.

I’m mad about the response I received from an advertiser who will remain nameless. I will not reveal if this douche bag advertiser sold magic pills, e-books, supplements or therapies for tics. I will just say that they claim to stop twitches and sounds for a fee that’s more than a cup of coffee but less than a pair of Lucky Jeans. (Evasive enough? Good. Let’s continue.)

The ad promises it will work 100% and that their own kid suffered from tics and they can END! YOUR! KID’S! TICS! ALSO! It’s that easy! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrote them and said I would do a review for them in exchange for a free product. I was upfront that I could not spend more $ on something that I wasn’t sure worked. “But if it’s all it claims to be,” I wrote, “Then I will shout it from the rooftops and spread the word throughout Facebook and the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome.”

I would run a contest to get him more traffic! It would be a win-win for my son, his wallet, and nervous parents everywhere.

I received a quick response where I was asked for my site stats. I sent him a copy of them. (Believe me – I’m not exactly getting a million hits/day.)

He wrote back 24 hours later with this response. What you see is unedited. The first paragraph is in relation to my question about tic elimination.

His response

From my own experience and from feedback I get from people I would say the following numbers apply:

50% total elimination – it can take anywhere from a week (! but these are rare cases) to 3-4 months

30% significant reduction – and I mean noticeable and significant!

20% no significant change. Although many people say the kids are less hyper and calmer. And happier.

I think you would understand why i am hesitant to commit to your proposal…

Do I send you the eBook, wait for you 2-3 months and then unfortunately your case belongs to the 20% or even 30% and I get a nasty or no review?
My reputation could be damaged unfairly…

YES – i know! The way the sales page appears is as if this is the miracle cure. Sorry ….. so does every other product. 
My website consultant suggested and created it. (the testimonials are real by the way !!!)

If you want I can have (someone) Paypal you some money so it will be a paid post and you can just review the product and mention its existence.
You can also run a contest for a free copy.

I am not doubting your integrity as a writer – i would not want it any other way!
All I am saying is for you to understand my situation and realize that marketing and reality are not always on the same page.

He goes on to say a few more things, then ends it with, “God Bless.”

Where my head spins off its shoulders My thoughts

This person is willing to falsely lead frantic parents down a primrose path and then tell us that we are stupid for believing him since ads are never real. Translation: “We are complete and total frauds, but we need cash. PS: Jesus Loves You.”

My response

(Note to my own readers: I am only repeating some of their email and gave no names, so I stand by my word.)

Their response

I agree !!!!
In an ideal world…..

I’ll tell you what:
Show me ONE ad/website/print that gives percentages and I will pay to have my site revised and rewritten!!!!

God Bless!

My response back