… of my own way.
I must be getting used to this T.S. thing… or maybe I’m so busy having a life I love that that things that used to rip my heart out no longer do.
Such as a conversation with Stink’s teacher on Thursday.
Teacher: “Hey, Andrea, I noticed that Stink’s tics are really loud lately.”
Teacher: “I thought you might want to know.”
Me: (Plain mattered… no heart in my throat… no “Oh my God I’m going to die that other people hear my son’s noises”) “Does it bother other kids?”
Teacher: “Not at all. They don’t seem to notice.”
Me: “Does it bother you?”
Teacher: “No. I am simply telling you because it’s a change.”
I say nothing, so she goes on.
Teacher: “Has anything happened that might have caused this swing?”
Pubic hair. Not really. Just the regular stuff of life. I’m working again, but I don’t think it’s that. I think it’s just the syndrome.”
Teacher: “Okay, well if it doesn’t bother him…”
Me: “No, mam.”
Teacher: “Well, then, God love him! That’s that!”
I left that meeting with a few things in mind only:
- I’m so lucky to be in a school where teachers really know my kids.
- I’m happy that at almost 14 Stink is content with who he is – duck quacks at all.
- I’m relieved that (*enter self-obsessed mom) I’m finally learning to separate who I think he should be (on meds or a diet that keeps the noises down so he is more socially accepted) and who he wants to be (a kid who has tics and the friends he wants, regardless of social status.)
For the New Mom!
If you’re new to this T.S., please don’t think I don’t understand the fear and worry about tics. Please don’t think there is nothing you can do to minimize tics – I 100% know there is. But for me, it has finally become crystal clear that what my child believes about his true self is more important than what I believe about his potential self.
Who my kid is.. right now.. is what matters.
What I thought I wanted?
A quirky but fairly popular Tween Gap model who plays on the basketball team and plays piano.
What I got?
A quirky, fairly unpopular (but adored within his own circle) mesh shorts wearing xilophone playing, Hump Day loving, musical theater geek who just landed the part of the farting warthog in the Lion King.
He’s his own person.
He’s entertaining as hell.
I adore him.
Until next time,
May God grant you the serenity to accept the tics you cannot change, the courage to change the tics you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.