Tag: poems

humor, poems, writing

Ode to Covid 19

Andrea Frazer

A poem about Trader Joe’s stampedes, fear and toilet paper

Hello I’m Nik @ Unsplash

Twas March 15, friends

And I hit Trader Joes

For snacks and for drinks

Heck, I thought they were closed

There were just a few people

But I soon find out why

There was nary a noodle

To be found there inside

Only a few apples left

And of course Two Buck Chuck

But toilet paper, you say?

Nope, you’re shit out of luck

I didn’t freak out much

It’s not as if I

Couldn’t wash with a rag

And a bucket of Tide

But what bummed me out most

About this great food stampede

Was the Buckets of Gimme

And the Bottles of Greed

It must be nice for some folks

That feel good about stealth

But not everyone’s wallet

Has that kind of wealth

Look: Some friends I know

Not too different from me

Live paycheck to paycheck

(And these folks have degrees!)

As I sauntered the aisles

And tried not to sneeze

I got so very sad

At our nation… you see

We don’t just have a virus

That we can’t seem to manage

We also have fear

Which can cause equal damage

If instead of just thinking

About ourselves and our kin

What if we let love

Stir us from within?

What if we took what we needed

A few weeks… nothing more

Then there’d be plenty of bread

For old folks at the store

There’d be chocolate for me

There’d be wine for my friends

And there’d be plenty of TP

For each other’s rear ends

So, while I can’t cure the food deal

I at least can commit

To not scrounging it all

In a me-me-me fit

My friends, I do beg you

As freaked as you feel

Is to honor your fear

But remember what’s real:

We can smile and laugh

We can sing in the streets

We can still go for hikes

(Until they quarantine streets)

How ‘bout we remember this virus

That ripped through the equator

As one of our world’s

Most profound educators…

… as a professor that taught us

While it’s scary some days

We still have each other

And we’ll all be okay.

(I promise. Be kind, people)

Until next time,

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. )

poems, Uncategorized, writing, writing wednesday

Writing Wednesday and Pink Umbrellas

Andrea Frazer

 

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It’s Writing Wednesday so I’m going to share a poem I’ve written. I aim to include it in my poem book, along with 100 more that I wrote while subbing 100 days for LA Unified School District. (Hey, if I’m dealing with crazy middle schoolers I’m going to make it work for me! As I heard someone say, “I aspire to inspire before I expire.”

With that in mind, my goal is to get an agent that needs Shel Silverstein meets Dr. Seuss meets a bit of Judy Blume and all Andrea Frazer.

So, without further adieu, here’s one of my older ones. Next week will be one from this year.

Pink Umbrella

Mom said kids might laugh at me

And even cause a scuffle

If I took this umbrella to school with me

It’s pink (and it has a ruffle)

“Honey,” she said, “You know I don’t care

But since you’re a boy… some kids might stare

So here’s a tip that is tried and true:

Be prepared for an answer that works for you.”

My mom’s pretty sharp so I thought of an answer

‘Bout why boys could wear pink and could sing and be dancers

So when Markus asked, “Dude, why are you carrying THAT?”

I said, “Friend, can’t you see that some girls don’t have hats?

I don’t want their hair-do’s to get wet in the rain

So I’ll walk them to class and they’ll never complain.”

And then while he stood there, kind of biting his lips

I decided to get one more thing in real quick

“My papa says girls like boys who can groove

So if I save their hair then one day you’ll see, Dude,

That I’ll have a date to any dance that I please”

And then something happened that you wouldn’t believe

At school the next day… under those rainy day showers

Marcus brought an umbrella – it was purple… with flowers

Leave a link to one of your writings and comment below. I’d love to learn about you!

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. )

(Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

books

education, writing

Keep Going! Keep Growing!

Andrea Frazer

blog.jpg

I started this year in a fog

Kids and working but I had no blog

But here’s something exciting

I got busy with writing

And was no longer a bump on a log

 

But then a close family folk died

And my river of words they done dried

Plus with my full time subbing

My brain… it stopped chugging

In a nutshell my body was fried

 

But then I decided this morning

I’m tired of posts I’m ignoring

Because if I don’t take time

To use gifts that are mine

My dreams will be dead on my flooring

 

So here’s to a post that’s worth reading

About plans that will get me succeeding

Just a few goals a day

With distractions at bay

And just like that: My dreams get their seeding!

(Pic given with permission by my kids. Stink is 16 and Pip is 14. I kind of adore them.)

Happily Ticked Off Tip #40: Make a small, manageable goal and stick to it every day. If you don’t, you can only blame yourself if you’re not living your dreams. (Accck… nightmare! Don’t do it! Baby steps!)

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

books

writing

The Terrible Poem Contest: I’m In!

Andrea Frazer

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Many of you know that I’m writing a poem/day Shel Silverstein style for every day that I substitute teach. This means that at the end of the year I will have 100 poems.

All rhymes are all being written from the perspective of an eight-year-old boy who comes from a divorced family. He goes back and forth between his parents. Some of the poems are a bit more reflective, while others are of the goofy, gross and silly variety.

I suppose this is why I decided to throw my hat in the ring of this blogger’s poetry contest. The theme is “Under the Table” and should be a truly horrific poem. Here’s my shot.

Under the Table

My friends are all camping

But alas I’m not able

Nope, I’m grounded for life

Right here under the table

A butter knife for a friend

Along with a rag

To scrape all my boogers

Into this trash bag

Yup, what once was my haven

For picking my nose

My mom did discover

So now I am hosed

“You won’t move from this spot

Except to go pee

Until all chunks are removed

Do you understand me?”

What could I say?

My answer was “Yes”

Now there’s no more snot digging

What?  YES I’m depressed

The moral of this tale

From under the table?

Stay away from nose picking

To avoid this sad fable

The end

Happily Ticked Off Tip #28: Enter contests that represent your passion. You never know if you will win!

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

books

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

It’s My Birthday! So Here’s a Poem

Andrea Frazer

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It’s my birthday. The big 49. As one friend wrote me, it’s my last “birthday around the block before the big 50.”

I’m fine with it, really. In fact, now that I’m more focused on what I’m finally supposed to be doing with my life (the whole writing, taking things as they come and staying in God’s will deal) I’m enjoying taking it as it is. No big expectations.

Lest I not ask for anything and then have a big pity party instead of a birthday party, I did request some home made pizza and a cake courtesy of my husband and daughter. My bff Tuskany is coming over with her family to play Apples and Apples. We’ll have a fire, a cup of coffee with some icecream for toppers, and call it a wonderful night.

I thought in honor of my new goals I’d share one of the 100 poems I aim to have completed for each 100 days of subbing. Here’s one I wrote on Day 22.

  • Note: All poems are written from the perspective of an 8 year old boy being raised by a single mom.

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MommiTations

The best time of day

Is always the morning

When I’m still half awake

And our pit bull is snoring

 

Incense fills the air

And the sound of harp strings

Floats through an old Smart Phone

Set on silent ring

 

Light streams through the window

As the sun starts its day

There’s a candle and coffee

And toast on the tray

 

There’s the ring of some chimes

And the purr of a cat

And if I’m real quiet

I can sit on Mom’s lap

 

My ears hear her heartbeat

It’s utter elation

Just deep breaths and stillness.

It’s name? Mommytations

Shout Out to the wonderful Mr. Fish Lee who I’d love to illustrate it if my publisher doesn’t go with someone in house. Check him out at https://twitter.com/MrFishLee. Here’s just one of his amazing samples. (But no, my poem book is not dealing with Tourettes. I just know of him from the T.S. community. He’s uber talented.)

this one

That’s all I got for you today. I’d love your feedback.

Until then, I’ll be enjoying my birthday fiesta and heading over to North Hollywood again tomorrow where we’ll continue a lesson I started on Langston Hughes’ poem, Dreams, combined with a Vision Board and Evan Hansen’s song, You Will Be Found.

Happily Ticked Off Tip #9: Don’t stop your goal, even on your birthday. It’s a present to yourself. 

My book is available on Amazon. (Note: It’s a special ed journey… your kid doesn’t need to have Tourettes to relate!) Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. 

books

Uncategorized

Oh Brother…Warner Bros & Wonder Kids

Andrea Frazer

My favorite school secretary called me last minute at 7am for a sub gig.

“Frazer, we need you.” With LuLu, it’s less of a request and more of a demand. And for this co-dependent in transition, I’m not against being bossed around… especially when it comes with a nice paycheck.

Me: “Nooooo! I was hoping to sleep! I’m exhausted from being a P.E. teacher, a choir teacher and a special ed teacher this week. I can’t handle being an English teacher now! Absolutely! I’ll be there in an hour!”

Don’t get me wrong – I’m always grateful for work. But today, man, it wasn’t easy. It mattered little what I said to some kids. Paper balls were thrown, my words were spoken over time and time again, and no one cared about me reading Wonder out loud or how valuable a well constructed paragraph is in life.

“I’m not even going to graduate highschool,” one girl told me.

That made me sad, but the more I do this job, the more I realize I can only teach those who want to be taught.

Today, at the end of sixth period, a sweet boy named Joe stayed after class.

“Miss Frizzle,” he told me, “I just had to say that I’m sorry no one listened to you. I really felt bad… and I wanted to say that I had someone in my family, like that kid in Wonder, die of a disability.” He started to tear up. “Geez, I’m sorry. I just…I miss my grandma a lot.”

There wasn’t much more spoken. I’d hug him if I could, but empathy and public school means lawsuit, so I just stood there. “You’re a good kid. Thank you,” I said.

Despite the hard kids, it’s kids like Joe that keep me coming back.

Plus, I wrote a great poem about a cockroach during my conference period. I figure if I can write one poem/day I’ll have 365 in a year. Maybe then Warner Bros. will realize what a genius they missed out on!

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The takeaway: I’m getting better at this not taking rejection personally…. 8th graders who scoff at great literature… executives who don’t want to hire 48 year old screenwriters… the teenagers who decide to give me the silent treatment because I had the audacity to remind them to do the dishes and, since they forgot conveniently AGAIN FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME to also clean up the dog doo… it’s all part of getting into the game of life.

I’m going to bed now. I can hear my sweet son ticking all the way up the stairs through the floorboards. But you know what? He’s happy. He’s not giving his teacher lip at school. And he laughed at my cockroach poem. I’d call that a good day.

Until next time,

May God grant you the serenity to accept the tics you cannot change, the courage to change the tics you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

My book is available on Amazon. Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. (Yes, I’m back on Facebook for work mainly!)

bookcover profile pic

Uncategorized

When Will It Be Enough? Oh, You Mean NOW?

Andrea Frazer

kids together

Sometimes at the end of a long sub day

The kids come home and there’s hell to pay

The dishes from morning are still in the sink

There’s a lamp on the table and it sure makes me think,

“Why do I cook and do shopping and clean

And all of the other shxxx all in between

While they can do school and come home and relax

I swear those ungratefuls can go kiss my… donkey.”

And then I remember

“They’re only teenagers!

With just a few short years left

Don’t you think you should savor

The fact they do homework? That they don’t argue much?

When, Andrea, when, will it be enough?

When your son stops his ticcing?

When you sell your next book?

When you get on a show?

When you hire a cook?

When you hire a maid?

When you get a new car?

Perhaps what you want is not really that far

You’ve got cars to drive in

You’ve got water to run

You’ve got food in the fridge

In a nutshell… you’ve won!

Stop waiting for Stink to stop making those sounds…

For the toilet seat lid to just for once to go down

The magic is happening… RIGHT AS YOU TYPE

With the neighbor kid laughing and the sweet pumpkin spice

That’s in my diffuser

Plus there’s chill in the air

It’s Fall time at last

And these days, I swear

It’s becoming more clear

That’s it’s my attitude

That keeps me most happy

That indeed sets the mood

So I’ll set all boundaries

I’ll remind them of dishes

I’ll have them fold laundry

But this mom – she wishes

To remember that mostly

This time… it’s so short

It seems yesterday, friends, they were setting up forts

And now they have cell phones

And geometry tests

So I’ll do what I can

But let God do the rest

In closing I wish

That no matter your deal

You’ll focus on things that are precious and real

The hugs and the smiles

The books by the fire

Because when kids are gone

And it’s time to retire

You’ll miss all the chaos

(Yup, even “those” sounds)

And wish those sweet donkeys were still coming around.

Until next time,

May God grant you the serenity to accept the tics you cannot change, the courage to change the tics you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

My book is available on Amazon. Follow me on Twitter@AndreaFrazerWrites or on Facebook. (Yes, I’m back on Facebook for work mainly!)

bookcover profile pic