I’ve been trolling a lot from my private group lately. There is just so much gold to be mined, I can’t help but share some of the nuggets. I promised my ladies, even though I keep their names anonymous, that I won’t be ‘using’ them forever for their stories.
But sometimes, I can’t help myself. When we share with others, it makes us all feel so much less alone and real. Besides, since my group is called “Twitch and Bitch,” I occasionally have to take advantage of my bitches. (Note to Margaret: I’m sorry. That really was kind of crass. Please forgive me. It’s bad enough that I went through 3 takes of a video I’m making because I accidentally used my kids’ real names. Your security motions are slaying me!)
Now, back to our original programming.
Today in my group a mom – who I’ve known over 5 years – was freaking out over upping her son’s medication. She is nervous about raising the dosage, even though she thinks he needs it, because she’s worried about what will happen if it doesn’t work. She’s afraid she might not be able to handle the disappointment.
I TOTALLY understand this. For you new moms out there, this is so very very very valid. It’s scary. You don’t want to feel you’ve exhausted everything and have no hope.
Even for you old-time TS moms, this is a valid feeling. No one should ever tell you what is okay and what is not okay to feel. But how you act on your feelings? That’s a whole other matter. And again, no one has to take my advice, but I have some anyway. For me, this means being harder on the old timers than the newbies in my group. They are tougher, and if they are not, I make them tougher by giving them a little Andrea boot camp. I call it the Twitch and Bitch Slap.
Maybe you could benefit from this, too. If I hurt your feelings, I’m sorry. Please know it’s for your own good. And if you disagree, feel free to say so! (But it doesn’t change my mind.)
My Note to Old Timer Sad Mom
Here’s you Twitch and Bitch-slap:
1. Get a therapist
2. If you don’t like the therapist, find a new one
3. If you don’t like that one, find a new one after that
4. When you find a great therapist, go every week for a year
5. If you’re not feeling better after that, try something new. Consider medication. Consider church. Consider meditation. Consider a job. Consider exercise. Consider ANYTHING different.
I PROMISE YOU. You can’t NOT do what I prescribed and not feel better. It’s not possible. If you feel that it IS indeed impossible, it’s not, it’s just what YOU think about it and honestly, that is of no consequence. That “it’s not going to get better talk” is called depression. There is a cure for depression. Don’t know what it is? Re- read #1 – 5.
Take two drinks and get back to me in the morning.
Dr. Andrea
* Note about drinking: I’ve done it when the stress has hit. A lot of us have – it takes the edge off. But this is not a mechanism that should be a permanent fix. It’s a slippery slope between “mercy” and “alcohol abuse” and one that I find I have to watch closely. I hope you do, too. (Speaking of, it’s Saturday night and I’m drinking, shhhh, coffee. I know. I’m crazy. If Stink is going to head shake all day – which he’s been doing all week for whatever reason – I figure I can shake from too much caffeine in solidarity. I’m awesome that way.)
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Published by Andrea Frazer
Find me at www.happilytickedoff.com! I'm a produced television, magazine, newspaper and national blog writer available for freelance writing in the areas of faith, parenting, lifestyle and healthcare. In addition to ghostwriting and content creation, I am proud to be publishing my first book. Called "Happily Ticked Off," it is a humorous mom-moir about raising a son with Tourette Syndrome. I can best be described as Erma Bombeck meets Nora Ephron. I live to connect with others through writing, authenticity and just a wee bit of sass.
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LOL….I take your safety seriously!! I may not be able to do much else, but I’ve got your back on cyberstalkers. 🙂
Margaret – what if you really aren’t the 5 foot mother of 3 in Georgia. what if YOU are the cyberstalker who does undercover for Brain Balance and you have totally snowed me all these years! Joke on me!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 !!
Bwaaaahhahahaha!!
So now my son has allergies to go along with tics. I am taking him to see the allergist on thursday to determine exactly what he is allergic to but we suspect grass, pollen. i have read so many times that allergy treatments and medications increase tics. I guess he either suffers with an extremely stuffed nose, discomfort, fatigue and lots of mild/moderate tics or I try the allergy medication and risk making his tics way worse. ARGH!!!
Corrie – Any luck with the allergist?