A dear friend asked me today something today. He commented that not being able to change tics, but instead change yourself, made sense. Why, then, would I be so bothered by an uptick (no pun intended) in tics?
I could probably give a long answer psychology wise on why this is so, but I am too tired tonight. Instead, let me ask you: Why do tics bug you so much? Is it you are afraid of your kid being teased? Does it bring back bad memories of childhood for you?
As for Stink, we went from 1 pill to 2 via the UCLA study. Not only is he focusing horribly, but his tics are through the roof. My hubby, who never notices them, asked me tonight, “How are you doing? I mean, Stink’s tics are beyond out of control.”
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. I was so happy he actually FINALLY saw what I see every single day.
But I’m a bit disconcerted that, well, it’s likely that Stink has either been given a sugar pill placebo or he just isn’t reacting well to the meds.
Moral of story? Mamas, go with your guts. If you don’t want to do meds, don’t. For me, I don’t think we will stick to meds long term, but my gut says we need to finish this to its conclusion. So off we go.
Wish us luck. And I will wish the same for you. Love you all.
Happily Ticked Off 
Yes, you should finish the study, at least to find out what Stink actually got (do they tell you eventually?). And yes, I deal well because the tics are virtually unnoticeable to anyone but me… until they wax and then I can see everyone react to them (or try not to), even people who normally tell me I’m imagining them. It’s upsetting to think people are “looking at” your kid, and it’s even more disturbing (to me at least) to wonder if this is only the beginning of the storm. Hang in there, I think you’re the life line for a lot of people (but no pressure).
They bother you because you are so connected with him and you are his mama who loves him to bits and you are human. You should also feel very proud about how hard you’ve worked to keep them at a minimum with all of the healthy/best food and environment choices you’ve done for him over the years. This is showing you what things could really be like if you didn’t put in so much effort for his best well-being. ♥♥♥
@ Joy – I don’t know if I”m much of a role model. Today in the kitchen I had been nudged one too many times about gardening questions. I took his paper, scribbled pencil all over, and told him “That’s what I think of your stinkin’ school garden! Turn that in!” Later I told him, “I’m sorry but the noises OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ARE DRIVING ME BATTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He then said he forgave me and we are fine. I try not say that stuff, becuase it’s not his fault, but fxxx me, it gets old sometimes.
@ Daria – Yeah, I know, I’m awesome. But why can’t they just get a drug to figure this out??? I don’t want to ruin my kid by tellng him to control what he can’t control. I don’t do it much, but sometimes I do. Not proud of that. Human or a major sucky mom? Who can say. It’ll get better. It will.
Andrea, I’ve been there more than I care to admit, not a nice place to be, and yes, I do feel like the worst mom in the world– and my son does the same thing, he tells me he forgives me. And yes, this whole thing sucks, but hopefully, we can all get through the next 8-10 years together.
Thank you, Joy. I appreciate it. I’m just so pissed off and sad right now. Here I am writing a blog telling people to accept the tics they can’t change and have the wisdom to know the difference, and then I’m screaming at my kid at 8am. Yet… yet… here’s the good part (is there a good part?) … I’m human. I”m not a saint. Maybe people can feel better knowing they are not alone in this. It just seems overwhelming at times. How can a mama on a budget with a husband gone 14 hours/day deal with tics and hyperactivity and nudginess without GOING INSANE (or at least smoking the doobage all day.) Since doobage smoking is not really an option for me, I’m going to go with community, writing, prayer, family and just having some fun. What the hell else is there? Just writing here… in this tiny space communicating with people I have never met… it makes me feel safe. Like it’s all going to be okay in the end. Joy, we don’t have to survive the next 8 – 10 years. Let’s thrive! Let’s kick some butt and just DO IT. What will you do for yourself today? Me? I’m going to go to Bible Study at 10 (Meh… not feeling it) Therapy at 1 (meh, why bother) and THEN hit my favorite thrift store. Tonight I’m going to go out to dinner if possible and maybe see a girlfriend in the evening. Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…. I’m off today!