And other things I want to say to unaccepted transgender teens
Originally published in Medium.
Dear Trans Kid,
If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone. It might seem like that, but you’re not.
Perhaps you are part of a community that is outwardly hostile toward you.
Maybe your family says they love you, but they just don’t love your orientation.
Maybe your family thinks this is just a phase and you’ll grow out of it.
Maybe you are terrified yourself because you don’t want to be trans, but deep inside, you KNOW you are.
What if I told you that while you’re terrified now, the terror won’t last forever?
What if I told you that sometimes the things we fear the most are the very things we need to break the mold of who we “think” we’re supposed to be and become everything who God intended us to be?
Yes, I’m using the word “God” in the same sentence as trans. Why? Because my own sweet teenager recently came out as trans. And while at first I was devastated at this surprising news, I knew in my gut that I had to believe her to be the same child of God she was before she broke the news.
I also knew that the tugging I felt to leave evangelical church a few years earlier was not the devil leading me away from “truth.” I realized, at that very moment, that the nudging to leave was none other than God himself walking me from black and white thinking into a new technicolor rainbow of acceptance.
Trans Kid, it is not enough for you to be tolerated. You deserve to be celebrated. Because if you weren’t supposed to be this way, you wouldn’t have been made this way.
I don’t know about you, but my God, my Jesus, he doesn’t make mistakes. I believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, just like the Bible promises, that you were formed in your mother’s womb with a plan and a purpose. And while this might not seem so clear at this very moment of confusion, it will be crystal clear sooner than you think.
What if this dark night of your soul is the very thing you need to go through so that, like the caterpillar, you can transform into something beautiful and truly fly?
I just hope, when you get your wings, you won’t forget to land on the shoulder of another who will likely be feeling exactly the way you are feeling right now.
In closing, during this time of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I hope you will remember how grateful so many people are that you were born. And for those people who aren’t grateful, guess what? They aren’t your people.
God loves you.
I love you.
And if people in your close circle can’t love you, then you just love yourself until it gets better.
Because it will get better.
Your Virtual Trans Mom
I’m a published TV, blog, magazine and book writer who also coaches moms and grandmoms to write books rooted in wisdom, spirituality and humor.
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