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Are You Ticked Off by Negative Comments?

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My last post about my tic resolutions (what I can change, what I can’t, and having wisdom to know the difference) generated quite a bit of buzz over at The New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome where my blog is syndicated. While many people 100% got my point of view, I got a couple pretty negative comments. I had a few reactions:

1. Wow, cool! I’m finally pissing people off! People are reading!

2. Ouch, ick. That stung. Poor me. Let me go cry to my friends on my “Twitch and Bitch” forum.

3. Logical schmodgical: What if I really am offensive?

#3 stuck to me for a variety of reasons. Let’s start a new list, shall we?

1. I’m not writing this blog just for me. I’m writing it for others. It’s my duty, as an “educator” to be sure I am communicating effectively.

2. There’s a fine line between being a narcissist and writing compelling, memoir-driven articles.

3. Most interesting realization of all: Insecure people, even among friends and family, will often skewer people they know as being narcissistic because of their preconceived views of who that person is and should be within the framework of their very own insecure lives. People have a much easier time extolling the virtues of “other” writers – you know, the ones with the pretty book jackets who end up on “The View” or “Huffington Post” – who already have stamps of approval by the public at large.

4. Referring to #3, once my book goes, said haters and cynics will suddenly tout me as being right all along. Yeah me!

5. As a Christian, I would be nothing more than a hypocrite to push any of this in their face, or respond to negativity with like. I must love them as Christ loves me, and if I can’t, enter Christ. For those in the #3 camp, this #5 statement makes me not only a narcissist but a self-righteous one at that.

6. This leaves me with #6: “If God is for me, who could be against me?’ Romans 8:31

I don’t just tout #6 as a fun inspirational flag-waving-attempting-to-accept-tics-and-not-ruffle-feathers-mama. I feel it. I care about people, but if people don’t like me, I don’t really care. It’s lovely living in this place! Come join me if you haven’t bought property yet. The neighbors are friendly, there’s lots of laughter and the wine is fabulous! (Being good on the wine, relax.)

I did write to Jeff Weber, New Jersey’s fearless web master, to be sure I wasn’t being offensive. He gave me the pass, so off I go to do what I do!

Acupuncture Update: In closing, Stink’s vocals are still gone. He was complaining of loose stools from the supplements he was on, so we backed it in half. Unfortunately, his head shakes came back full force. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that Martina, his acupuncturist, believes he just needs to adjust to it slowly and the tics will go back down.

Martina Does Acupuncture Phone Consultations: Want a consultation on how to find an acupuncturist for your child in your area? Martina is available for phone consultations. She won’t recommend specific businesses, but she’ll get a sense of your child’s symptoms and then tell you what to look for in the right person, giving you specific acupuncture terms to use in narrowing down the right professional for your child’s needs.

Martina’s Consultant Fees: She charges $40/half hour, $60/hour. She’s versed in nutrition and supplements and can lead you in the right direction. Look soon for a new video of her treating Stink!

Martina’s In-Person Fees: Martina is in the L.A. area. Consult her directly for prices. Rates go down if you buy a packaged deal which, honestly, is recommended as she will want to start treatment 3 days/week and reduce as symptoms wane.

Martina’s Contact Info: You can find info on her at the link above. For quick reference, call her at 818-378-4157.  You can also look up her website or email her at Martina@YPIH@Gmail.com

Tell her Andrea from Happily Ticked Off referred you. I get absolutely no referal fee for this, but it does help her adjust her prices to you. (Pssst. I’m takign care of you!)

Check out more posts about Tourettes at the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome where this blog is syndicated.

* Picture is “Woman in a Purple Coat” by Matisse. It always inspires me to live a life of purpose, joy and love. She just looks so relaxed, yet confident. I’ll take some of that, and a back scratch. Thanks!

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About Andrea Frazer

Find me at www.happilytickedoff.com! I'm a produced television, magazine, newspaper and national blog writer available for freelance writing in the areas of faith, parenting, lifestyle and healthcare. In addition to ghostwriting and content creation, I am proud to be publishing my first book. Called "Happily Ticked Off," it is a humorous mom-moir about raising a son with Tourette Syndrome. I can best be described as Erma Bombeck meets Nora Ephron. I live to connect with others through writing, authenticity and just a wee bit of sass.

11 responses »

  1. I am dying to know what supplements you are on. My son’s main tics are vocal (at least the one’s that are most bothersome) and if I could find something that helps him I would be ever so grateful. We have tried supplements, diets, Dr. Sims….nothing has helped. The one thing I haven’t tried is acupuncture. I am afraid the needles will stress him out so much that he will start ticking. By the way, I do not find you offensive at all. On the contrary, I find you strong, supportive, encouraging, humorous….if only you lived closer to me….sigh.

    Reply
  2. What on earth was offensive? Really curious,as I went back and read the last post and I am still puzzled. I think it is positive yet realistic. What am I missing?

    Reply
    • Margaret, I believe what was offensive was the whole “I’m trying to change you” thing. The comments were from people with T.S., and honestly – while I found their snark less than kind as I try REALLY hard to not be that way anymore (used to be) – they are living examples of what I’m trying to change. Of course, I don’t want to change my SON, but I want to change the tics. For people who live with this daily, I can see why I might come off as insensitive. Why not just love people for who they are? I get it. I believe they missed the middle ground with me – that I do actively try to find the gray area between accepting my son’s tics that I can’t change, but changing the ones I can so he can live as functionally as possible. 🙂

      Reply
  3. As a teenager with TS i felt concerned that he would see having more restrictions placed on his days as a result of increased/not decreased tics almost as a punishment. Tics aren’t a good thing, but they don’t necessarily mean decreased functionality. I have all sorts of annoying tics but they don’t prevent me from having a wonderfully functional and full life.

    Reply
    • Olivia – I found your comments, for the record, to be super insightful. You were not snarky but just honest, and that is so helpful for me. How are you doing now? What are you doing? What tics bug you? And did you have a mom or dad who you felt embraced you or were really trying to change you? thanks!

      Reply
      • My tics were sudden onset at age 15. I had SEVERE coughing tics for about a year and then they’ve switched to blinking, grimacing, throat clearing, clicking, “tuh” shoulder shrugging, eye rolling, shoulder shrugging, wrist flicking, flexing a whole assortment of muscles, tightening my lower stomach, whistling, schreeching, huming, wrinkling my nose, the list goes on. I have tried some behavior therapies such as neurofeedback and CBIT but i havent found much success, and it was having negative effects on my self esteem when they didn’t work. I’ve been on a bunch of different medications, and zoloft is working well at the moment. my tics are stil very present but slightly less terrible then they were. I’m very involved in my schools theatre department, stage managing two shows this year and acting in a third. I play softball and bike (hopefully the pan mass challenge!) and in addition I am on the governing board of my church as a youth representative. I work at my church nursery and at a sleepaway camp in maine. TS has landed me in the hospital twice and in the ER 4 times but it’s still not the end of the world and I’ve still managed to have a pretty amazing life 🙂

  4. Couldn’t have said it better, Andrea- as usual. I guess that’s why you’re the writer and I’m just the reader. And I can understand how Olivia feels not being accepted by her parents or whoever tried to change or stop her tics, but it’s not that we’re trying to change our kids because they’re not meeting our expectations, it’s just that we love them so much it’s heartbreaking to us to think how OTHER people might view them. It’s a lot easier to have people not accept you personally (don’t really care) than it is to think your kids might not be accepted. And I had to go back and reread the post in question too.

    Reply

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