I’m not a fan of helicopter parenting. Part of that results from the fact that I was always too busy socializing with other adults than to actually pay attention to my son freaking another three year old out about some Scooby Doo zombie mystery. (Or spitting with bulls-eye precision down a plastic volcano at an indoor play yard. That went over really well with the yuppie parent in the Ugg boots who called Security on me when I told her to buzz off and stop acting like a Nazi.)
My flaws aside, I do believe that our kids have to fight their own battles or we’ll end up with adult babies who cry the moment their boss tells them their perfect presentation actually was more of a bomb than Miley Cyrus’s latest performance. It’s up to us to teach our kids how to navigate tricky waters – not row the boat for them.
But when does the boat get so full of water it’s time to call in the rescue? I know that with my son and his “bully” situation, we’re far from calling S.O.S. on the P.O.S.’s. But, truth be told, I went behind his back and confided in a fellow mama (whose kid is friends with one of the bully kids) to have “the kindness conversation” with her son.
Is that too sneaky? Stink specifically asked me not to talk to a teacher or Principal Jay, fearing I’d make it worse. Citing the many times Stink negotiated with my terms, I am telling myself I didn’t, inherently, violate his trust. But did it? Would you have done the same?
And furthermore, do you think I was too hard on my son when I told him that those kids just didn’t like him, like in the last post? A few of my friends had looks of “ewww” on their faces when I told them the story. I saw it as being practical and enlightening. They saw it as a bit harsh.
Would love your opinion.
PS: One of you wants my vitamin supplement list for tics. I will do that next post for you. I will say for now, however, we are off the focus pills. Intuniv was great for 1.5 years, but my kid wanted a break from feeling tired and sleepy. He said it made him feel less like himself. So far he’s doing fine with moderate exercise, great diet, good sleep and moderate computers. My motto is always to go more drastic when a kid’s social, emotional and academic life are threatened. (Maybe I need to remember that advice with the bully situation also!)