Today I was knee-deep in Chapter 9 out of 12 of my book. For reasons that have yet to be explained (other than sometimes stories take time, especially when you are living them) I am well on track to having this book done by the time my kids get out of school. 2 years to get 9 chapters done (including an intro) and 4 weeks to finish the last 4? Sure. Like tics, it just is what it is.
Despite feeling excitement about wrapping this sucker up, I am feeling a bit of fear and angst, too. “What if no one cares? What if the T.S. community likes it, but the rest of the ‘special needs’ mamas out there think I’m a whack job? What if instead of being supportive I come off like nothing but a whiny freak? And, the big question that begs for an answer: What if I can’t get an agent to back this?
Such normal doubts and fears accompany artists of any kind, which is what makes their journey so exciting. With it, luckily, comes confirmation. For me, this came in the form of an email from someone in my private Twitch and Group which, to sum it up, could be translated into 4 words: “I’m Losing My Shit.”
Her son’s vocals are currently out of control.
As it turns out last month, so were my son’s.
And, as I did, she told her kid to “Please Stop It Now!” and then went through a bottle of wine and, guess what, the tics are still there! – along with insane guilt and a bad headache. Who knew.
While I never want to see a fellow mother suffer, I saw this as having two meanings:
1. I am not a nut job. We all go thru rough times. Thank God we can express it to each other.
2. My book is on the right track. She called me right as I was finishing a chapter on the very subject.
Mamas out there, I want you to know that there’s a lot I don’t know. I don’t care if you ever buy a copy of my book, but buy this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. I SWEAR ON MY EVER TICKING
That promise comes guaranteed, signed and stamped by the production house of Andrea Has Been There And Has Not Been Committed to the Nut House.
Yet. (But like this book landing me a tour and an agent, let’s stay positive, shall we?)
Until next time, hug that ticker of yours today!