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Peace in the Process, Joy in the Journey

Peace in the Process, Joy in the Journey

It’s a new year which means it’s time to make some changes. For some people, it’s to lose 10 pounds. For others, it’s to get a great job. I’m no mind reader, but I’m guessing that for many of you it’s to “Stop those Tics!”

I wish there was some magic elixir out there I could recommend, but in my six years at this, there simply isn’t. Everyone’s child is different with a unique personality and temperament.  As parents, we must be our child’s best advocate.

While I will absolutely spend time in January discussing vitamins and techniques that have worked for Stink, what I feel compelled to remind you today is that Tourettes is not a sprint. It is a marathon. This means that, like with any physical sport, you need to stretch and prepare.

Get comfortable. (Read up on Tourettes! It’s more common than you think! Latitudes and The New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome are awesome. Even better is a personal support group. Don’t have one? Start one. Comment here and meet people. Get connected!)

Find a coach. (No shame in getting help from a therapist or pastor or good friend! I am shameless and do all 3.)

Get a good workout plan. (Do you want to pursue medicine? Alternative therapy like acupuncture or nutrition? Cognitive behavior therapy? Stink is on some focus meds, after years of going without, and vitamins. Pretty simple. I’ll share more later.)

Find some cheerleaders. (Tourettes is a perfect invitation to rid yourself of toxic people. Replace them with others that make you laugh and cheer you on! I have one friend I speak to every day. Topanga T is the Gail to my Oprah. In ten minutes we can cover religion, vintage sette sofas, Pinterest popcorn recipes, cancer, thrift stores, fire insurance, cock roaches and hair dye. We never get off the phone without saying, “I love you.” Best part of my day.)

Enjoy yourself.

“What was that?” you might say? “My kid is rolling his eyes more than Kim Kardashian in a Walmart Maternity section!”

“Yes,” I will tell you. “Enjoy yourself. And more important, enjoy your child. Because they are not their tics. They are their soul.”

Get over it! I never got frustrated with kid and I never felt sorry for myself.  There have been times when Stink has cleared his throat so many times in a row I had to put in ear plugs and walk out.

I have farmed him out to friends overnight so I wouldn’t have to watch an incessant head bob.

I have sat locked in car rides up mountains counting how many times he has clicked his tongue and been so insane with frustration I’d make my husband pull over to the side of the road so I could step away. “What are you doing (chirp chirp) Mama!” Stink would yell from the car. “Wishing I could jump into a soft landing at Tic Free Valley Below! Loving this beautiful view, baby!” I’d call back.

I had some rough times – still do.

But I’ve also come to realize, over the years, that tics come and go. It’s annoying that they always come back, but it’s beautiful that there is a break. And, like with any rest, clarity comes.

For me, clarity started in small whispers. “Your son has some eye rolls, but he’s a hysterical joke teller.”

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It then got a bit louder. “Stink occasionally warbles or squeaks, but he never stops laughing. He’s writing an adventure novel and has never met a dog or new person he hasn’t liked. He’s pretty darn creative, and, well, let’s face it. He’s weird! Hooray for oddness!”

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These days, clarity is screaming, “Stink sometimes squeaks in between his sentences, but he gives talks about T.S. in class!

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He is going to three birthday parties this month because he’s more social than Twitter!

6th

He has a little Tourettes and whole lot of confidence! HE IS NOT MY SON WITH TOURETTES that is also really amazing. HE IS AMAZING and, oh yeah, he has Tourettes.”

Parents, if you’re new to this, I promise you. We can’t always cure our kids bodies, but we can always always always support their spirits which will transcend any minor quirks and twitches.

Who wants to join me on Team Tourettes in 2013? Let’s train together! Let’s have peace in the process and joy in the journey. And let’s let clarity in with whispers, then talking and then SHOUTS.

I’ll leave you with this Phil Collin’s song below. The first time I heard it, I thought of my son. And now, I think of you. The words are pretty perfect for tics and Tourettes.

Until next time, Andrea

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About Andrea Frazer

Find me at www.happilytickedoff.com! I'm a produced television, magazine, newspaper and national blog writer available for freelance writing in the areas of faith, parenting, lifestyle and healthcare. In addition to ghostwriting and content creation, I am proud to be publishing my first book. Called "Happily Ticked Off," it is a humorous mom-moir about raising a son with Tourette Syndrome. I can best be described as Erma Bombeck meets Nora Ephron. I live to connect with others through writing, authenticity and just a wee bit of sass.

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