Tics, Tourettes, Uncategorized

Writing the Book: Roadblock

Based on last post, you can see that there’s been a lot going on. Madness is not exactly conducive to sitting down and writing a book. And yet, I can type away here at Happily Ticked Off.

And writers write.

So what’s my problem?

Part of it is that writing about something in a structure format is different from spewing out my crazy ramblings offering up a quick blog post.

A bigger issue for me, though, is the increase in my kid’s tics.

It’s not that I’m so sad that I can’t form a sentence. It’s that I don’t know what sentence to write to finish the book.

Truth be told, I had really hoped this Ticnoir would have a dramatic story but a shiny happy ending: “Here’s where my life fell apart post-diagnosis… here’s where my marriage hit the skids… here is where my two big writing gigs went away… but here’s where Rex and I fall back in love and I’m content with motherhood and my $42.51/month on Ebay and all Stink’s tics are gone! Woo hoo!”

After a few years dealing with T.S., I had no real illusions that there would be a magic bullet for tics. But after all the diet and all the supplements. After all the good sleeping and trying out meds… I certainly didn’t think the tics would be worse.

And yet, they are.

And for the end of a book, that totally blows.

It’s like going to a movie about a woman who loses her high paying job and then has a hard time making her mortgage. She has a hard time feeding her kids and her husband gets sick with MS.

But then, a la It’s A Wonderful Life, the community pitches in. In the last scene of the movie she gets a ton of cash from her church and some fat kid gives her the last nickel in his piggy back. This woman not only saves her house, but has enough funding left over to re-do her kitchen. Her husband was misdiagnosed and her kids have more organic food than they know what to with! There are cheers and shouts and tears of joy! But then, in the last scene, some thug socks her over the head on the subway and steals her huge wad of cash. Her husband gets squashed by a Gremlin and she and her kids go homeless, eating 99 Cent store Mac N Cheese forever. The End.

Who wants that kind of ending? And really, if you’re going to get hit by car, wouldn’t you rather get hit by a Porsche?

I suppose, in a way, this is my apology to you: Sorry, suckers. I couldn’t fix your kid’s T.S.. You can stop reading now.

But again, and I mean this (waaaay deep down): Enter whisper: “If you can’t fix the tics… fix yourself.”

I’m trying.

I really am.

And for what it’s worth, I’m supporting you along your way.

The Bottom Line

Does everything we do to help our kids through diet and healthy choices and meds (if needed) help? Yes. I do believe it does. I believe it could be far worse without it.

The Truth

Ten years old is hard for any kid – especially kids with tics. But this is a season.

Even Better

I’m not in the emotional toilet. As I tell my blog friend, Margaret, “I am not in the bell jar.” Ring ring ring the bell! Maybe that’s the happy ending. That I’m learning to roll with life and never give up. I’m learning to… enter my other theme, “Accept the tics I cannot change, change the tics I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.”

Hang tight, all!

* Photo of me and Topanga T when I was 4 sent by my cousin, D D. Little did I know, at that innocent age, what a ride life would be. But maybe I had the right idea back then. When times get tough, get dancing.

12 thoughts on “Writing the Book: Roadblock”

  1. Hang in there! If the tics are up, you know they will come back down. Just have faith (and patience, which I know, can be hard)! Thoroughly enjoying all of your posts and can’t wait for the book! : )

    1. @ Claudia – It’s the same thing I tell my husband when he hasn’t gotten lucky in a while, but in reverse. “What is down will one day go up.” 🙂

  2. Things can only get better .(I know I’m dating myself, but remember that Howard Jones song from the 80’s?) What if the book focused not on what helped or didn’t, but on how you have kept yourself out of the bell jar? Kind of a guide to staying sane that could apply to moms with other types of kids as well….there are so many moms despairing over kids with ADHD, autism, etc. Just an idea.
    Big hugs!!!!!

    1. I’m with you, Margaret. In my mind that ending is the answer. In my heart, though, I don’t believe my mind. I need to catch up to feel like I’m writing it authentically. AuthenTICally. Hee hee. Brain Balance all aboard!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Yes it can be tough. I like your writing, I don’t have the perfect advice for the book I’m sure happy endings sound better but you have the happy ending of your sanity and your marriage etc.

    And about more tics. I know you know a lot more than I do about T.S. but, they did tell you there could be an upswing before puberty and through it before it gets better right? My daughter’s neurologist did say that. We aren’t there yet but hopefully if and when we get there I can remind myself that after puberty it will probably get better again. And for most much better by adulthood.

    1. Dee -So glad to have you here. Yes, it will get better by adulthood. As I always say, and this I do believe – tics go away, but a good personality can’t be forced on a kid. I’m happy with my kid’s humor and all around amazing good personality. A few tics? Those are my issues, not his. THANK YOU and hope you are well!

  4. Hello Andrea,
    My son was recently diagnosed with Tourettes and it is finally starting to sink it. I was googling TS and Flu vaccine and your blog came up. You must have an article on it. Anywho. The fact that you are out there gives me encouragement.

    1. Catriann – I have writen so much on T.S., so I’m not suprised you found me. I’m glad! How are you doing with the diagnosis? how is your son? What’s the deal there? Thinking of you and promise you that if you are sad, it does get better. My kid is super adjusted. It’s just me who gets neurotic!

  5. I am ok with the diagnosis now. It took a while and alot of dr. who had no idea what was going on to find out why he was doing the tics. My newphew has it, and he is an adult now and he has mostly grown out of it so I have that hope. Funny tho now I really notice my husband has several motor tics too! My son is in second grade, I started him on a high magnesium vitamin drink that seems to be helping called “kids calm” from natural vitality. Right now the tics are “under the radar” as I call it. I am looking for a support group and have a contact of someone to call as I have about a zillion questions. But it is sweet relief to come upon your blog, neurtoic is my middle name!

  6. i think a single book of here’s how to fix/cure tourettes could not be written. it’s not about that (fixing it) because every person is different, every person has their own journey to go through. i wish i wouldve had TS as a child, let’s be honest yes kids are mean and yes kids bully but if they didn’t have TS they’d be picked on for something else and the best part yes you get an upswing before puberty but you get an upswing of everything before puberty….and then its gone. what happens when it’s gone? do you sit back and remember and be proud of everything you over came that helped you become the person you are today and if you hadn’t gone through it would you still be the same person? or do you sit back and wait for the shoe to drop and a tic to come back? getting TS as an adult….there’s no growing out of it there’s only acceptance to be learned and whether your the parent of a ticcer or an adult ticcer yourself, maybe its about acceptance and being willing to think outside the box.

  7. I also have a vocal tic. I am 18, and have been dealing with tics for about 2 or 3 years now. The tics you described sound very much like mine. But I also have a motor tic (twitching) when I’m very stressed or tired. I used to be on a medication called Topamax and it worked wonders for me. The only problem was that it is known for causing deformities in children. I’m not sure if that would have an effect on boys? I have since tried multiple meds, but none of them have worked. I am looking for a natural remedy. I have noticed that calming exercises like yoga, swimming, and jogging have helped. I also see a therapist to help deal with stress

  8. I love your blog and have been following you for years. I am very curious about Brain Balance. Do you actually know children with Tourettes who have been helped by this program? The website shows many examples of ADD and Aspergers but not much for tics. It is very expensive but I would try anything if there is a chance it could work. My son is just turnning 9 and I am terrified of what the next few years could be like.

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